Rivalry and Such
by Raxzo
Summary: Two children with untapped power enter the IZ universe, and the outcome couldn't be bigger. Includes nearly every character I care about. Use as directed. !ENDED!
1. Enterance & Claws

Okay, I'm only doin' this one more time, you. If no one's gonna read what I write unless it is utter purposeful CRAP (see Kingdom QUE?!? by raxzo), then I'm just gonna write that. Huh? Huh? Does that SCARE you? Does it instill fear into your withered, decayed pig heart? If so, I've done my job well.

…

Just read the Zim story.

One regular, normal Earth morning, in a city whose name was too freaky and bad to be spoken aloud, school began regularly enough. Small children who made strange noises walked into their badly-taught classes, not expecting anything extraordinary to occur. At least, not expecting to notice it. Two miniscule ones in particular, sitting in their dirty, dirty-filth classroom, stuck out. The first, a regular human child, (except for his irregularly sized head,) was staring across the room. His perfectly circular glasses showed two yellowish irises and no edge to his eyes, which were squinting in concentration. His black scythe of hair, sticking up like an antennae and almost entirely dark attire made the big-head boy look…just plain crazy. Of course, he was squinting to see the every move of his enemy, the second child. This one looked even stranger, what with his ear-less, nose-less, neon green face and pompadour-like hair. Odder still were his three fingered, gloved hands and dark pinkish shirt…dress…thingamajig. He looked weird. Green kid appeared to stare straight ahead, but occasionally glanced at big-head kid with his abnormally large eyes. All the bizarre, crazy craze children sat in the room for several more seconds before part of the blackboard creaked upward like a garage door, and out slunk the teacher, Ms. Bitters.

"Class!" she screamed in an old, sinister voice even though no one was really loud. "We have yet two more useless additions to the school. Please make uncomfortable the new deformities, Bri and Det."

The new two trudged in. (I made a rhymie! HEE HEE!!...I am easily entertained.)

The boy on the right had raggedy, wild, dark-blonde hair, rectangular glasses, a red shirt with gray sleeves and a crescent moon on the front, tan pants, and icy blue eyes that spoke volumes of no-wanting-to-be-here-ness, while the other lad bore a black hoodie, dark blue jeans, large, wide skating shoes, greasy brown tufts of hair and a bored expression hanging on his face.

"Um, hello." said blonde boy. "My name is Bri, and-"

"No!" interrupted Ms. Bitters. "I hear enough wretched child noise as it is! You will take your seats IMMEDIATLEY!!"

"But we don't have seats yet." Stated the brunette now identified as Det. Growling, Ms. Bitters pulled a remote control from her large desk and pushed a large red button on it. Suddenly, the tiles over the desks behind big-head kid and green kid slid back, and two wicked-looking claws came down above the children in the desks. They picked the children up by the head, pulled them into the roof, and disappeared when the tiles slid back into place.

"You were saying?" Ms. Bitters asked, as if what she had just done to the two kids didn't matter at all.

"Well, that's…unsettling." Bri said, walking to the seat behind big-head kid while Det walked to the seat behind green kid.

"Ms. Bitters? Can I try and prove to the new kids that ZIM IS A HIDEOUS ALIEN MENACE?!?" asked big-head kid, screaming the last part, and pointing at green kid.

"No, Dib. No you may not." Ms. Bitters said.

"HA!! Pitiful Dib-larvae! Your plans have failed once again because of ZIM'S amazing brain abilities!!!" screeched Zim, also standing on his desk. "Er, eh, I mean, the new disgusting Earthlings wish not to be hearing of how you insult me with you're, eh, alien-calling things that you say!! Yes!" He then sat down quietly and folded his ands together. Dib then sat down as well, putting his chin on his desk in momentary defeat. Bri and Det, on the other hand, were staring at Zim, mouths agape in surprise.

"He IS an alien…" they whispered simultaneously.

"Wha-?!?" Zim and Dib said simultaneously.

"Enough noises! Sound waves make me sick! Now, all of you sit silently of suffer DETENTION!" Ms. Bitters screamed. All the children shuddered at the mention of detention, and they shut their food-chewers and sat in a perfect stoic fashion. All except the four boys. Bri was practically hyperventilating, Dib's jaw hung slack out of disbelief that some one other than him thought that Zim was an alien, Zim was on the verge of panic because others might know that he was Irken, and Det was grinning menacingly.

Yes, just a regular, normal Earth morning.

REVIEW! Well, did you REVIEW! like it? REVIEW! I sure did. REVIEW! Now, there was REVIEW! something I wanted you REVIEW! to do, but I can't REVIEW! remember what it REVIEEEEEEEWWWWWW!!!!! was. Oh, well.

…review, please.

-raxzo


	2. Talking & BOOM

Well, for the love of stink beetles! Review, I gotten in time, yes, I LOVE. Ahem—eh, um, yeah, I got a review. Awesome-nation. This one I just thought up in about 10 minutes, so don't expect much. Here it comes!! WHEEEE!!!???!!!

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After several hours of learning totally useless information in school, the class let out.

"Remember, your parents don't give you food, shelter, and clothes because they" she paused to shudder. "_LOVE _you" Ms. Bitters said to her students as they left the classroom. Bri stuck his head out the doorway, looking left, then right, and then slowly stepping through the entrance. He still was worried that the 'alien menace', as Dib called Zim, would know what he knew, and was quite wary of his surroundings. But, despite his wariness, he didn't see Zim run up to him, grab his neck, and shove him against the wall.

"GaaaaaAAAAHHHHHH!!!" Bri screamed in terror, although no one seemed to notice.

"Silence, human meat-bug!" Zim ordered/insulted. "What do you know?"

"Eh, nothing! I'm as stupid as can be! Duh, duh, duh!!!" Bri replied, hoping to fool his attacker.

"Although I agree that you are stupid, especially in comparison to ZIM, I don't believe you. You think I am…AN ALIEN!!!!"

"Uh…" Bri stammered.

"AH, HAAA!!! YOU ADMIT IT!!! Now, to the base to suck you ugly head dry of all that you know of me! Gir, come!" Zim exclaimed calling…something. Seconds later, a green dog with googly eyes, a large zipper on his front, and blue flames coming from his feet rocketed through the school walls.

"YES, MASTER!" screamed the seemingly loyal dog. Suddenly, he sat on the ground; fire already dissipated, and began to chew on a large acorn he pulled out from who-knows-where.

"GIR!" Zim screamed again. Bri just stared at the two as if they were, well, an alien and a green dog chewing on an acorn.

"OKIE DOKIE!!" Gir shrieked before rocketing off again, this time carrying Zim and Bri on his puny back. Meanwhile, Det had just walked out of the school, his mouth still slightly curved in a menacing smile. Suddenly, Dib jumped in front of him.

"Hey, new kid!" Dib said pointing at Det. "YOU saw through Zim's disguise! NO ONE sees past Zim's disguise! Well, except me, but, y'know, I AM the world's greatest paranormal investigator. You and me, and that other kid, can team up and stop him from destroying all mankind!!!!" Dib then took a dramatic 'hero' pose.

Now Det was entirely bored again. "Yeah, nice motivational speech an' all, but I don't think I wanna stop him." He walked right past the still-posing Dib and whispered "I wanna help him…"

Unfortunately, Dib heard the last part and chased after the peculiar boy.

"HELP ZIM?!?" Dib screamed at Det. "How can you want to HELP ZIM?!?"

"Easy, hefty-head." Det replied. "I just want to help the neon freak for…personal reasons. Personally DEADLY reasons…"

"…huh?" Dib said, confused.

He sighed. "I wanna kill you." Det said, saddened by Dib's lack of understanding.

"NO!!"

"Yeah, actually. So, I'm just gonna go to his house and propose my death-offer, 'kay?"

"Oh, no! I'm gonna go and…stop…you!!" Dib replied, trying to sound like a threat. So, they both ran to Zim's house, unaware that Zim and Bri were headed there themselves. And, back in school, a kid with a rainbow on his shirt spontaneously combusted.

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Hmm, not to funny, but it was needed to be done to continue the story. HA HA HEH HA HEE HEE HEH HEH HAAA!!! Yeah, I just wanted to screw with ya. snicker Reviewence is goodnence! Wee! Also, I killed Keef because he's annoying.


	3. History & Stranglings

Well, at the request of my only reviewer (for now, hint hint) I shall create from my cranial-fats longer chapters. But, keep in mind that the chapters will take longer to make because of laws of physics and junk like that. But I'll find a way around 'em. STORY TIME!!!

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"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!" Bri screamed.

"HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!" Zim laughed.

"PIGGY! PIGGYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!" Gir cried.

As the three literally rocketed to Zim's house, one thought drifted through Bri's mind. 'How did I end up here?!?' And, as narrator's luck would have it, that thought began a flashback.

STARTFLASHBACKSTARTFLASHBACKSTARTFLASHBACKSTARFLASHBACK

Bri was just walking home from school when he saw a shooting star. 'How lucky!' he thought. 'You NEVER see a shooting star in the afternoon!' So, Bri made a wish. But, just before he reached his house, he saw the shooting star get bigger, and bigger, until it appeared to be a…giant hamster? 'No, no way' Bri thought as he stared at the strange object. Then, he realized something…the hamster was headed for his house!!! 'No, no, no, no, NOOOOOOOO!!!' Bri thought as the rodent grew ever closer, until it crashed down on its head right next to his house. Bri released the air he was holding into his lungs. Suddenly, the giant hamster's apparently metal leg shot out and blew a giant hole through Bri's house.

And Bri just stood there.

So, Bri's family moved to a cramped apartment across town. It wasn't so bad, despite the total lack of room for elbows and such. One December afternoon, Bri was just watching T.V. when a special news report came on. It appeared that Santa had returned! Then, the station showed an obvious imposter making strange movements and sounding rather…creepy. "Oh, come on." Bri said in disbelief. "Who would believe-" Abruptly, the apartment door slammed, and Bri saw that that his parent's had left a note on the door. It said:

_Dear Bri, _

_We have gone to join Santa. There's beans and orange juice in the fridge. BYE!_

"But," Bri said sadly. "I don't even like beans…"

Thus, Bri had to live with his aunt, again, across town. And, now he lived near a new school, with the sign totally spelled wrong, and bars on the windows. Yay.

ENDFLASHBACKENDFLASHBACKENDFLASHBACKENDFLASHBACK

Yes, what a crazy, horrible, trauma-inducing adventure his life was. Soon, Gir had come up on the insanely built, purple & green house. I didn't even look like it should be able to support itself, what with its slanted sides, but the many wires shooting from Zim's house to the surrounding ones probably helped keep it upright. "

Now, prepare to be amazed by my ingenious ba-" Zim was interrupted by the sounds of fighting erupting from his house. "Eh?! Gnomes, how could they get in?" The lawn gnomes then turned to face Zim, and blasted him with a barrage of lasers. "AH! AH! GIR! WHAT"S HAPPENING???!!!" Zim screamed, barely dodging the lethal beams of light.

Gir then removed his doggie-face mask, revealing a blue robotic face. "Oh, yeah. I broke 'em! HEE HEE HEE!!!" After this eerie display of malfunctioning lawn gnomes and robo-mutt, two figures crashed through the window of Zim's domicile, strangling each other.

"I WON'T LET YOU DESTROY EVERYONE!" Dib exclaimed.

"WHY NOT?!? THEY ALL HATE YOU ANY WAY!!!" Det reasoned.

"THAT'S NOT TRUE!!! Well, it is, BUT I STILL WON'T LET YOU KILL THEM!!!" Dib replied.

_5 minutes ago..._

Det was hoping to find Zim walking home instead of trying to find his house among many, but had no such luck. He stopped at the mouth of a large cul-de-sac for a breather from the pursuing Dib when he saw what he was looking for. An entirely out of place residence, practically glowing green in an industrial brown neighborhood, with a narrow roof and eerie lawn gnomes decorating it.

"That could be it…" he mused sarcastically. As Det approached the house, he noticed that the gnomes were watching him. "Hmm…those could be a problem…"

"You bet they could!" Dib said, finally catching up to Det. "Those defense gnomes will destroy if you even set foot on Zim's yard!" Just then, Gir shot out of the purple door, soaring into each gnome, making it spark with broken-ness, and flaying into the distance.

"Man…gotta get me one of those." Det said before running into Zim's house.

"Wait! I need to stop you!!" Dib screamed, chasing Det.

Just as Det entered the house, Dib crashed into him, grabbing his neck. "YOU CAN'T HELP ZIM! HE'LL DESTROY YOU!!!" Dib said.

"HE MIGHT DESTROY YOU AND EVERYONE ELSE, BUT HE CAN'T DESTROY HIS NEW PARTNER!!!" Det retorted, throwing himself and Dib through the window.

_Present time..._

By this time, the gnomes had stopped firing at Zim to let him and Bri watch the pitiful brawl between Dib and Det.

"Hey. Hey! YOU FILTHY HUMAN CHILD, eh, STINKS!!! Why would you enter the fortress of ZIIIIIIIIIIIIM!!??!?!?" Zim shouted.

Det got up and dusted himself off. "Ah, well, I have a…proposition for you. I want to partner with you to destroy all-"

"NO!!" Dib interjected. "YOU CAN'T-"

"HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Bri exploded, capturing everyone's attention. "WHAT THE HECK IS GOING ON!?!?"

"Grrrrr…No time to explain!" Dib replied, grabbing Bri's wrist and running toward his house.

"The Bri escaped! NNNNOOOOOOOOOOO-" Zim shrieked.

"Um…" Det tried to talk.

"-OOOOOOOOOOO-"

"Excuse-"

"-OOOOOOOOOOO-"

"I need to-"

"-OOOOOOOOOOO-"

"ZIM!!!" At that, Zim took notice to Det. "About my offer…" Det said, an evil anticipation slinking into his voice.

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Well, it's longer, but not by much, but it is a new chapter, and I enjoyed writing it. Also, if anyone can answer a random question of mine, I'll put an idea of yours into a future chapter. Okay, here it is:

What does pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconeosis mean?

Please answer, and I shall keep my promise. REVIEWSHUN NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


	4. Propositions & Beatings

Okay, I realize now that the previous contest I began was useless, for the only one who reviews is Pajama Jam (my good chum), and you're probably the only one reading this, anyway. So the contest is off for now. Don't tell me if you know! I'll ask again later. If you do tell me anyways, I won't do…whatever I said I'd do. For anyone. Boo hoo.  Here's the chapter.

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"Partners?" Zim said inquisitively.

"Yep. Partners." Det replied, leaning against the large green the wall with the broken window on it. After Dib had fled, taking Bri with him, Det had put forward his idea to Zim outside Zim's house. And, for some reason Gir was hugging Det's hood.

"Hmmm… But why should one so amazing as ZIM partner with one as…human…as, eh, you, whatever your filthy name is?" asked the alien.

"The name's Det, and I know how the people here behave, I know the military weaknesses, and I know how to make people scream. And all you have to do for that information is let me own this one small planet in the universe." Det retorted.

"I am an Invader; it is within my duty and ability to gather that information anyway, why should I get it from you?"

"How much information do you have so far?"

"Err, that is none of your business, dirty human of…filth! I AM ZIM!!! A MIGHTY IRKEN WARRIOR, WHO NEEDS NO HELP FROM THE ONE HE SHALL CONQUER SOON! OH SO VERY SOON! SOON ENOUGH TO, eh, BE SOON!!!!!!"

"…You do realize that people heard that, right?"

At that, Zim looked around suspiciously, as if he just realized that he was outside. Then he ran indoors, saying "GIR! INSIDE, BEFORE THEY NOTICE SOMETHING!!!"

"YES, MASTER!" Gir answered, his invisible grip still holding Det's hood, and jumped into the house, dragging and choking Det.

In the meantime, Dib had hauled Bri several blocks to his house, a gray, two-story building with round windows, a domed roof, and blue lasers encircling the yard. Dib slammed the door open, and ran into the kitchen, where a girl with constantly close eyes, deep amethyst hair that spiked in certain directions, a skull necklace and a Gameboy-like console in her hands sat at a table with a pizza box on it..

"Bri," Dib said. "Stay here with Gaz! I need to get my laptop!" So, Bri waited with Gaz while Dib ran upstairs.

"So," Gaz started, not looking up from her game. "Are you an alien, too?"

"I…don't think so." Bri retorted. Then, he realized that he hadn't eaten in several hours, and that there was still half a pizza right there, so he reached for a slice when he noticed Gaz's eyes barely open and shooting him infinite daggers. Bri wisely retracted his hand. Dib then returned, carrying a computer with what looked like an eye on it. He sat down at the table across from Gaz, and turned on his laptop.

"I've been studying Zim for over a year now, but no one else has ever really believed me, except you and that Det kid! And now-"

"Wait" Bri interjected. "Studying as in, stalking?"

"…Sort of…" Dib sheepishly replied.

"Can't you two be stupid in another room?" Gaz said, obviously annoyed by the two.

"Well, you've just got a Game Slave." Bri pointed out. "We're using a computer. Shouldn't you move?" After this, all Bri remembered was a flurry of fists, an angry frown, and Dib dragging him from the kitchen. 'Man,' Bri thought, barely conscious. 'I'm getting dragged a lot today.'

Elsewhere, Det had been accidentally been taken into Zim's underground base via the toilet-vator. And yet, Zim had yet to notice his presence.

"Computer," the Irken said, contact lenses and wig removed to reveal twin antennae and red-violet eyes that shimmered in the extraterrestrial lights emanating from the computer.

"Give me the whereabouts of the Bri's domicile. He will pay for knowing what he knows."

"Y'know, I could probably step up the security in this place if you give me the chance." Det said, making himself known to Zim.

"EH?!?" was all Zim could say to the fact that the human had 'broken in' to his impenetrable base.

"And I could probably make this place actually look normal."

"Uhhh…" the computer said, losing his chance to actually speak.

"And I could probably work on some better defenses for the house. But, most importantly," Det walked up to the computer screen that showed Bri's residence.

"I could take care of Bri…"

And Gir just squeaked a rubber moose.

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Okay, now it's pickin' up somethin' good. I hope I got Gaz's creepiness down right. I also realize that I use the three-dot thing a lot…see? Please review to keep my lungs filled with breathable gases to continue writing my favorite story.


	5. Metal fists & Soda pop

Alright, I reaaallllllllly like this one. It's the longest one yet! It does be so packed full of hydrogenated milk that I just…I…I gotta throw up now. GOES AND VOMITS SEVERLY AND BRUTALLY Well, that wing of the house is now under construction. Is reading time children!

Children: EEEEEEK!!!

Me: Hush, you!

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After what seemed like hours and hours of being passed out, Bri awoke on Dib's couch to hear the theme song for Mysterious Mysteries start.

"Finally." He heard Gaz say from the other end of the couch, still playing her Game Slave. "You've been out for hours."

"Ugh…" Bri sleepily replied. "That's because you put me out…" He realized that he was making her angry again, and promptly shut up about that. "Why are you watching Mysterious Mysteries? It has the stupidest stuff ever on it."

"I'd never watch this junk; my **stupid **brother and his **stupid** paranormal activities make me watch this **stupid** show." Gaz retorted, rapidly pushing buttons on the game.

"…I take it that you don't really like Dib all that much."

"I don't really like anyone all that much."

Bri thought about that. "…fair enough." A few minutes later Dib came in, once again carrying his laptop.

"You're up! Good! Now we can plot against Zim's evil-ish evil!" Dib exclaimed with a righteous vigor in his voice.

"Um…it's kind of late. I should probably get home soon." Bri said, standing up.

"But…Zim could be scheming something right now! You're just going to have to stay here for the night!"

"Well…can I at least call my aunt to let her know I'm here?" Bri inquired.

"Alright, but make it fast! Zim could strike at any time!" Dib reluctantly replied. So, Bri tried calling home using the kitchen phone. Strangely enough, the phone had no dial tone; it was dead.

"Hey, Dib! You're phone's broken!" Bri called.

"What? Oh, well, I'll fix it later. C'mon, let's go to your house." Dib responded, opening the back door and leading Bri outside. Neither of the two boys noticed the green dog chewing on the phone line on the other side of the house. Suddenly, the dog's head shook, and a holographic screen shot out of its cranium. On it appeared none other than Det.

"Gir," the boy began. "Did they leave for Bri's house yet?"

"YES, SIR!" the robot screamed, then ripped up great clumps of grass from the yard.

"Uh, good." Det replied. "Return to the base."

"EEE HEE HEE!!!" Gir yowled, using his rockets to crash into the Membrane residence a few times, and then flying into the distance.

Meanwhile, at Bri's house, Det waited patiently on the roof for Bri to arrive and further his plan. He was talking into a communicator watch to a certain green alien.

"Remember, Det-creature. You bring the Bri here, and I'll accept our…partnership."

"And you'll call me Det. Not Det-creature, Det-larvae, Det-worm or anything except Det. Alright?" Det ordered, trying to remain silent.

"Grrr, FINE! Just capture the Bri, already!"

"On it." Soon, Bri and Dib walked up the driveway of Bri's house. Det pulled out an large, three fingered, purple metal glove, jumped down and punched a five foot hole straight into the concrete right in front of Bri. Naturally, he and Dib were practically in shock.

"And you said Zim and me couldn't be partners." Det said in an I-told-you-so fashion. "But, as fun as it is, I'm not here to prove you wrong. I'm here for him." Det pointed at Bri with a metallic finger that practically exploded with alien energy. "Y'see this?" he continued, showcasing the powerful weapon he wielded. "I whipped this up in 10 minutes using Irken tech and my own personal improvements. Think of what I'm gonna do with 10 days of messin' with this stuff."

"How do you know how to use Irken equipment?" Dib asked in astonishment.

Det just grinned. The palm of his gloved hand the glowed a brilliant violet, and rushed him forward into Bri. Bri turned to run but was easily caught by the hair by determined gauntlet wearer. Bri saw that there was a control panel on the glove that gave him an idea. He smashed random buttons on the panel right before Det was about to lift off. That caused Det's hand to spasm and drop Bri. Dib then picked Bri up and rushed him away from the recovering Det.

"Come on! We've got to get back to my place, where we'll be safe!" Dib yelled to the still-dragged Bri.

"Oh, like I can't just rip it apart!" Det called, speeding toward the escaping lads. Amazingly, Bri and Dib made it back to the house, ran inside, slammed the door, and stared at where Gaz was still (surprise, surprise) playing her Game Slave.

"What happened to you two?" she asked uncaringly.

"Big…metal…punch…Det…HEAD!!!" Dib mumbled insanely. Then, Det's metal fist punched through the door and grabbed Bri's head again.

"AHHH!!! GAZ, HELP!!!" Bri screamed.

"Why should I?" asked Gaz, actually directing her gaze away from the game to the attacked boy.

"I'LL, UH; I'LL BUY YOU A NEW GAME SLAVE GAME! JUST HELP!!!"

That was good enough for her. Gaz then walked into the kitchen and came back with a can of soda. Det had just pulled Bri through the door and was preparing to leave when he noticed Gaz.

"What do you want, you little-" Det was interrupted by a spray of soda from the can Gaz had opened. The carbonated liquid seeped into the cracks that Bri had made before and caused the glove to totally malfunction. It sparked, it smoked, and it sent Det flying out of the neighborhood. Bri just lay on the floor, until Gaz kicked him in the ribs.

"Uhh…what do you want? He almost killed me…" Bri complained.

"You promised me a game. Now get it, or you will suffer unlike any previous form of-"

"Yeah, yeah. I'm too tired; let's just go." Bri interjected, losing his former tiredness in the face of exhaustion, and walking toward the inner city mall. Dib was still hiding behind a broken wall.

"Hey! What about the house?!?" he called to the leaving Gaz and Bri. After they didn't reply, Dib ran after them saying "Wait up!"

A few blocks away, Det sat in a tree, nursing what he was sure was a broken arm underneath his gauntlet when Zim in his Voot cruiser hovered in front of him.

"You lied to Zim! You said you can capture him, and he's…not here!." The alien screamed angrily.

"Gee, ya' think?" Det retorted, in no mood for more abuse.

The Irken studied him for a moment. "The only reason I'm giving you a second chance to join up with ZIM is because you almost had him. You just need more…Zim-like equipment."

"…Zim-like?"

"Yes."

"That's retarded."

"Maybe so, but know this: if you fail again, your dreams of aiding my conquest shall never-"

"Yeah, yeah. I'm too tired." Det interposed, climbing into the cruiser. "Let's just go."

The cruiser flew off searching for the boy. And, back at the house, Gir laughed at an angry looking monkey on T.V.

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Tee hee! Angry monkey. Now THAT'S comedy. Yeah. Review please. Heh, monkey…


	6. Pitfalls & Returns

Alright, that I could not stand that horrible chapter. It just sucked. I was rushed, and I wanted to put a chapter up so badly, I sank to putting up something I didn't enjoy. Preposterous. In case you didn't read it yet (, thank god), I wrote the worst thing ever. So here is a better version of chapter 6. Ye had best love it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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'After getting attacked by a school-boy wielding a laser gauntlet and almost being captured for evil alien experiments, what could be a better mind-soother than buying video games?' Bri thought sarcastically, sitting next to Dib on a bench in the large structure, awaiting Gaz's return. It had been a very long day, what with the armed assault and all, and Bri just wanted to rest. The constant threat of Det returning and basically torturing the cookies out of him was no a pleasant thought, and with Gaz away buying a game with the money Bri gave her, he had absolutely no protection.

"How much longer is she going to take?" Bri absentmindedly asked.

"Well, the only time I ever went with her got me lost throughout the city, so I'd have to say a while." replied an equally tired Dib. Soon enough, though, Gaz returned, playing her newly bought game. Unfortunately, the floor beneath Bri and Dib dissolved before she could arrive.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!!" was the obvious response to the hole appearing beneath the boys. Gaz simply shrugged and walked outside of the mall. Under the mall, however, waited Zim and Det. Det now had gloves on both hands, with wires sprouting from the wrists into a device similar to Zim's Pak, which produced two miniscule rockets, on Det's back. Zim, now undisguised, waited smiling in the Voot cruiser, which had recently fired its lasers upward to create the above hole, for their kidnapee to arrive. After several seconds of waiting, Bri and Dib crashed onto the soft soil that had been placed to break their fall.

"Ah, Dib, you seem so defenseless without you're **horrible **sister around to save you, HA-HA-HA-AH-HA-HA-HA-HA-AH-HA!!!!!!!" Zim laughed maliciously.

"And you don't seem so safe after a 50-foot drop, now, do ya, Bri?" Det added, showcasing a copy of Zim's smile. Needless to say, Bri was ready to just be captured and get it done with, while Dib was instantly reenergized by the current turn of events.

"I won't let you get to Bri!" exclaimed a heroically posed Dib.

"Oh, don't worry, human stink, I won't." Zim still smiled.

Det's gloves and rockets glowed practically white. "I will." Det then, in a repeat of the last battle, lunged at Bri. Except this time, Bri had learned to expect that. He dived into the dirt pile just as Det crashed into it, flinging earth all around, along with Bri. He landed across the underground cavern, while Bri landed near the Voot in a heap of dust and searing pain. Meanwhile, Dib had jumped into the Voot before Zim could stop him and pulled out a camera, capturing the innards of the alien ship on film.

"Oh, man, this is GREAT!" Dib exclaimed, twirling around, trying to capture all he could for evidence.

"You! Exit the ship of Zim this very instant!" Zim cried, grabbing Dib's camera and trying to wrestle it off of him. At that instant, Bri noticed Det rushing toward him again, and the ship…ship?!? Bri's eyes widened as he reached into the cockpit of the Voot and pushed random buttons, hoping for weapons, engines, radio, anything to turn on! Luckily, the engines did activate, so Bri shoved Zim out of the way, jumped into the Voot, and rocketed upward just in time to see Det's face scowled in anger zoom past him.

"HOW DO YOU STEER AN ALIEN SPACE SHIP?!?" Bri was almost in shock from the day's events, and the lack of coordination he had while driving was no help now.

"LET ME DO IT!!" Dib screamed, instantly taking control of the Voot and speeding out of the hole they fell into.

Det stared at the fleeting Voot. "Oh, not again." He muttered before following suit and speeding upwards as well.

Zim, however, was left without a way out of the crevice. So, he just squinted his eyes and said "Our partnership is over."

Meanwhile, light-years away, on the utterly crowded planet of Foodcourtia, a lone ship was somehow able to escape the extreme gravity of the great Foodening, and slowed down just outside of the gravitational field of the planet. Inside, a very large Irken with a round face that had oval shaped purple eyes and a scar down one of them, vent-like shoulder guards, a food service hat, and a name tag that displayed his fearsome name: Sizz-lorr.

"Rrrr, finally! I escaped!" exclaimed the immense alien. "Now, not a single thing in the universe can stop-" Sizz-lorr was interrupted by another vessel crashing onto his powerful one. The other craft appeared to be an escape pod of some sort, with metal tentacles on the back for gripping objects, and its pilot smashed onto the windshield. The pilot was obviously an Irken female; Sizz-lorr could tell from the curved antennae on her head and violet eyes that boasted short eyelashes on the sides. Her mode of dress was unusual for an Irken; her shirt had a tail that also curled at the end and a modified Irken symbol, and she bore larger-than-normal boots with what looked like hoofs at the end of them. Crashed next to her on the wind shield was a modified S.I.R. unit with a very large claw on its right hand.

"Wha-!?!" was all Sizz-lorr had to say before he realized that the crash had pushed him back into Foodcourtia's gravitational field. "NO!!! I CAN'T GO BACK NOW!!! RRAAAAAAAAHH!!!!!" Sizz-lorr pumped the engines to full capacity, expecting to launch himself out of the vicinity and lose the latched-on intruder as well. What he didn't expect was to accidentally manipulate the gravitational field and fling himself and the attached girl around the planet and faster than either was prepared to go. Their screams soon evaporated into nothing as the sped toward an unknown destination in the universe.

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I must say, I am quite proud of myself. I've got an amazing storyline reared up and ready to go, and I really like putting Tak and Sizz-lorr in (except I think it happened too fast). I think that's actually an original idea. Maybe, but it matters not. What does matter is reviewing, so…do it.


	7. Hobos & FILLER

Woo! It's been a long week full of several writer's blocks, robot kangaroo dragons, and my brain having to be reanimated after getting killed by Homer Simpson, so now I'm writing a new chapter! Hee hee! Let's make music together! Uh-huh!

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"Well, where do we go now?" Bri asked, staring out the large wind shield on the Voot. "It's not like we can go to your place; well, what's left of it and Det knows where I live."

Dib strayed deep into thought for a moment. "Well, we have a working alien ship now. We could go into space, and see what's out there! And we can stop the evil Irken race from ever reaching Earth! We'll be heroes, and I'll finally be respected for the paranormals mastermind that I truly am! NO more being made fun, NO more being told I'm 'crazy', NO more saying how big my head is!!" Dib then grabbed Bri's shirt collar and screamed at him. "MY HEAD'S NOT BIG!!!!" Dib's left eye twitched and his teeth chattered in an insane fashion.

Bri was, needless to say, freaked out. "Um…your whole psychotic break is nice and all, but…who's driving the ship?" Dib released Bri just in time to see his house rushing up at them. There wasn't even enough time to scream before the Voot smashed through Dib's domicile into his room.

**KER-SMASH**

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Sgt. Hobo could not believe his luck. Sure, he had been chewed on by that giant Hogulus for what was probably months and went through some of the most excruciating pain a sentient being could go through, but he was alive, wasn't he? That was probably because of his mechanical parts. Hobo's robotic red eye squinted in concentration. He'd done this a thousand times in his mind. All he had to do was use his chain-link arm as a grappling hook to latch onto the other side of the Hogulus' cave-like domain without waking it up, lest his torture begin anew. And so, Hobo's hand launched, across the cavern, and fastened it on the wall that led straight to the outside. Bull's eye. With great precision and speed, Hobo pulled himself silently across the grotto and finally reached the outside. He was screening a rare smile on his part when he heard the screaming noise from above. At first, the object falling from the sky was difficult to identify. But, once again, his mechanized eye aided him. It appeared to be…a ship. No, two ships. One of them an artificially attached escape pod. Then, Hobo realized something. The screaming passengers of the falling spacecraft were making lots of noise. Enough to wake up a Hogulus. Hobo reluctantly turned around and, sure enough, the Hogulus was awake and drooling with anticipation of regaining its favorite chew toy. Hobo cursed under his breath at having to fight the beast again, just before the connected ships fell onto the monster's head, effectively killing it. Hobo was very grateful for that, but slightly worried about the occupants of the ships. Sure, he was a gruff, no-nonsense sergeant, but he greatly upheld the rules of Hobo 13, which were "Take care of your team, and you will survive." And right now, those two were his team; he would need them to navigate the horrors of the planet (, which he ironically set up,) if he ever hoped to exact his revenge on the one puny, damnable creature that got him here in the first place.

"_Zim…_" the sergeant whispered to no one be fore trotting toward the wreckage.

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Det was frustrated. That idiot Bri was actually getting affected already… No. Activating the ship was a fluke. There was no way the weakling had turned already… Det's concentration was broken by the sound of S.I.R. unit jets following him. He turned his head slightly to see Zim riding Gir, and not looking very happy.

"HOW DARE YOU ABANDON ZIM AT THE BOTTOM OF A GIANT CREVICE?!?"

Nope, definitely not happy.

"You mean the giant crevice you made?" Det jokingly asked, stopping in midair.

"Err…No! I meant, uh, the other crevice, eh, you know, the other one?" replied the obviously embarrassed Irken.

"Right…well, I'd better get back to finding the Voot-" Det started, but was immediately interrupted.

"Oh, no." Zim said. "You tried to leave me there! Our filthy human partnership is now ended! Go home and leave the destruction to ZIM!!!"

"So, you'd rather I help wipe the dust off you and give you a lift out of the fissure you made instead of getting back your stolen ship?"

"…GO BACK TO THE BASE!!!"

Det obeyed, with an I-won smirk plastered on his face while, once again, calculating the chance that Bri was already there… Impossible. Totally BS. He couldn't…Still…

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Okay, it was mostly filler CRAP, but it still kept going the story good. I like writing for Sgt. Hobo, because he's not a bad guy. He believes in teamwork and having your squad live through the day. He's just a military jerk, also. And, does anyone wonder if Sizz-lorr and Sgt. Hobo are Irken? If they are, then aren't they the tallest? Or are they just the widest? And will you review? Thos answers are up to you to find…and by that, I mean review, please.


	8. Insanity & Hatred

This is where the story picks up a lot. And where the main antagonists are introduced. Even though they were already in the story. Huh. Well, er, what I mean is that…I eat tacos. Mmmmmyep…

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"Son!" called a voice from beyond the debris created by the crashed-down Voot. "I just repaired the entire house with my science-bots, and you crash your hot air balloon in to the roof?!?"

Dib was dumbstruck at his father's stupidity, especially considering that he was one of the greatest minds on the planet. "Dad! That's no balloon! It's Zim's evil alien-" Dib then looked behind himself and saw that the windshield of the Voot was hanging from a piece of metal that stuck out of the roof at just the right angle to make the rest of the craft dangle from several wires connected to the glass making it look like a high-tech…hot air balloon. Dib pondered the probability that the ship would land just that way and decided that it was next to impossible.

Dib's dad, Prof. Membrane, simply shook his head. "Oh, son. Will you ever not be insane?" And then he walked away, presumably to so much crazy science junk. In the vessel, however, Bri lay unconscious after the crash had finally drained him of his energy. And his dreams were of weird things…

_Where's the ship? ... Where's Dib? ... Where's my house? ... Where's ... me? ..._

…_**there is a tree that grows from your head into you feet you are the seer you don't know what a pomegranate is you love you hate you will never bleed again if ever a monkey there was, it was you you're going insane…**_

_Well, I'd have to agree with that last one…_

And he kept dreaming.

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Ugh…where the heck did she land? All Tak remembered was that she had crashed into a ship that carried a guy with a fry cook's uniform and getting shot back into deep space. After that, she had blacked out. Then she woke up and found herself in a smoldering pit of space ship and Hogulus parts. But she did remember before as well. Zim. That insignificant little _smeet._ Sure, before it hadn't been about vengeance, she just wanted to get a mission to prove her worth. But now…now he'd ruined her life twice. And she was _mad._ But, for now, Tak had to hold off her plans of Zim's death and figure out where in the universe she was. That was when a giant metal hand gently grasped her PAK and dragged her out of the flaming ruins of her former ship's escape pod. Mimi, unfortunately, had been fatally damaged in the crash and was now use less. Oh, well. All Tak wanted to do was sleep and dream of her strangling Zim's puny little-

"Wake up, soldier!" screamed a crusty, ordering voice. Tak's deep amethyst eyes immediately shot open in surprise, as did the big lugs next to her. The giant in army attire stared patiently as Tak and the fry cook fully regained consciousness.

The fry cook spoke first. "Where am I? All I remember is almost getting sucked back into-" Suddenly, the colossal Irken remembered who had almost killed him before. "YOU PUNY IDIOT! I ALMOST CRASHED BACK INTO THE PLANET BECAUSE OF YOU!"

Now, Tak was even madder. "You shouldn't blame me for your poor piloting skills, you gigantic oaf!"

"I AM SIZZ-LORR, THE GREATEST RESTAURANT OWNER ON ALL OF FOODCOURTIA! NOT SOME MORON LIKE THAT ATROCITY ZIM!!! I DESERVE RESPECT!!!"

"ZIM?!?" Tak and the Sgt. Hobo replied to Sizz-lorr's outburst.

"Yes, Zim! That undersized walking ulcer got me trapped on Foodcourtia for over 20 years!" Sizz-lorr explained.

"He forced me to become a janitor and launched me into deep space!" Tak said.

"He killed an entire squad of soldiers and got me eaten by a Hogulus!" Hobo said. The trio of Zim-haters stood there for a minute before each of then smiled a wicked grin. Hobo chose that time to speak up. "Come on. If we want to rip that little bug's head off, we're going to need to get off this planet." Hobo led the way toward the end of the valley where the Hogulus once lived, while Tak and Sizz-lorr followed, each of them thinking of how Zim would die.

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Det leaned on one of the computer consoles in Zim's underground lab while still pondering if Bri had what happened to him yet. Gir was busy sucking on all for of his appendages at once (some how) and Zim was sitting in his chair, reading seemingly random articles of information. Suddenly, the green extraterrestrial jumped up and exclaimed "I NOW KNOW WHAT TO DO!!"

"And that would be?" Det absentmindedly asked. He was sensing something…weird, and was not in the mood for Zim's rants.

"I know that we must not try to capture the Bri, but dest-"

"No destroying." Det was still feeling it.

"Wha-?? You are not an Invader, are you? I didn't think so! We shall deal with the Bri in the way I see fit!"

"We can't just kill him. We need to catch him to use what he is. Dib has too much paranormal knowledge to use him, and I'm going to help you destroy the world. And-" Det abruptly realized why he felt so strange. "And Bri is listening."

"What? How? The Dib must have put another bug in!" Zim began a pointless search for tracking devices hidden in his base while Det's face twisted into a mix of surprise and anger at the events that were unfolding.

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_...Am I still dreaming? ...Man, I _must_ be tired... Wait... I'm awake... And I'm with ZIM!!!_

"_I NOW KNOW WHAT TO DO!!" Huh?... Is he talking to me?..._

"_And that would be?" And... Am I talking back?_

"_I know that we must not try to capture the Bri, but dest-"_

"_No destroying." You'd better not destroy me! ... Wait... What?..._

"_Wha-?? You are not an Invader, are you? I didn't think so! We shall deal with the Bri in the way I see fit!" Deal with me?... I'm right here!!..._

"_We can't just kill him. We need to catch him to use what he is. Dib has too much paranormal knowledge to use him and I'm going to help you destroy the world. And-" Am... Am I Det?... "And Bri is listening." I...I'm listening?... I'm not trying to!!... What am I?... I AM insane!!!..._

_**you are insane so is dib so is det you are each ones ripe for usage you have to run you have to hide you have to waaaaaaaaakkkkkkkkeeeeee uuuuuuuuppppppp………**_

"Bri! You have to wake up!" Dib was practically screaming at Bri. Eventually, Bri stirred and opened his eyes. "Finally! You've been out since we crashed Zim's ship!"

"…I was knocked out again?" Bri groggily replied.

"Yep! Now, come on! I've got an idea of how we can use Zim's ship!" Dib rand down stairs, and waited for Bri to follow.

Bri stood up, climbed out of the Voot, and did follow Dib, but not without wondering what his dreams were about and if he was really as human as he thought…

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It may have been confusing at some point, but this is as of yet my favorite chapter, because it gets to an actual part where the OCs aren't just little add-ons, but major plot points. Also, the Tak/Sizz-lorr/Sgt. Hobo trio will remain a sub-plot for a few more chapters after this. THUS ENDETH THE CHAPTER!! REVIEW OR EAT MY STOOLS!! _**STOOLS!!!!**_


	9. PAIN & More FILLER

Alright, another grouping a la filler, but this will probably be the last one for a while. Cause el action es….however you say 'beginning' in espanol. I'd like to dance the night away. Tee HEEE!!!

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"Not good…SO not good…" Det was pacing around the base in a worrisome manner, mumbling to himself all the while. Zim had long since given up his search for Dib's nonexistent spy bug and watched Det walk around, and was surprised at seeing a person as worried about his defenseless nemesis as he was. Gir was once again playing with his squeaky moose, not at all worried about his master's partner sounding as crazy as could be.

"Eh…Det-human?" Zim asked the fretting boy. "Why are you murmuring about how bad our situation is?"

Det stopped and shot a death glare at Zim. "Because, if Bri's experiments made him anything like me, he's gonna be much worse of a danger than he ever would before."

"OOOHH!!! Is he gonna make ya eat glass till ya 'splode??" Gir foolishly interjected.

Det was extremely bothered by the robot's lack of appreciation for the circumstances. "No, you sorry machination. He's gonna make us DIE!!!" Det screamed, obviously freaked out.

'AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH-AHHH-AHHH-AAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!" Gir insanely screeched.

"SHUT UP!!" Det ordered the droid, who promptly did so. "If we can just get to him before he's fully awake, we'll be safe."

"And how do you propose we do that?" Zim inquired. "According to you, the Dib will also be able to stop us!"

"Yeah, but I think I can find a way to distract him…" Det trailed off, side glancing at the transmission screen.

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Dib led Bri to the backyard of his house, talking along the way.

"Well, Zim's ship is irreparable without a good supply of Irken technology. So, I thought we'd combine the usable parts with…this!" Dib then revealed a beaten, battered, and slightly morphed Irken ship. Tak's ship.

"You're using that again?" Gaz asked, who had just appeared out of nowhere.

"…Okay, where were you when we got attacked by Zim and Det again?" Bri asked, irritated that Gaz had abandoned them before.

"Why should I have to be your bodyguard just because you're too weak to defend yourself?" Gaz retorted, glaring at Bri.

"Um…about the ship…" Dib tried to keep the two from fighting, but to no avail.

"I'm not weak; I just need help when getting harassed by a destructive force of alien power!"

"Oh, you need help alright; Zim is not a destructive force; he couldn't even take over an abandoned doghouse, let alone the world!"

"We kind of need to fix it and…" Dib still attempted to end the argument.

"He has laser shooting lawn gnomes and blew a 50-foot hole straight through the ground; that sounds pretty destructive to me!"

"Did he actually do anything to you? No! And that's because Zim is a moron just like YOU!"

"Guys, we really need to get the parts for the ship and-"

"SHUT UP!!!" Gaz and Bri exclaimed simultaneously

""No!" Dib replied. "I'm not going to be ignored again! If we don't get a working ship ready, Det and Zim will destroy us for sure!"

Bri was flat-out infuriated now. "You want a working ship?!?" he exploded, running into the house and returning seconds later carrying a large pile of the Voot's parts. He then rapidly connected every piece of Irken equipment in the backyard to the ship's remains, making a super hybrid ship. "HERE'S your working ship!!!" Bri's expression changed from one of ferocity to one of confusion and surprise.

Dib was just as surprised as Bri was. "How did you do that?!"

"I…just did it…" Bri weakly replied, once again pondering his humanity. But, just as he was thinking that he might be some kind of werewolf monkey, (he had been spending the day with Dib, after all,) a transmission screen popped out of the pseudo-ship and showed Det in Zim's base, staring coldly at them.

"Weird," the screen sounded. "The computer said the Voot was destroyed in a crash, but…"

Zim chose that moment to interject. "Destroyed?!? Listen, Dib-stink! My ship is infinitely valuable to me, so if you crashed it, I'll-"

"Call a truce." Det interpolated.

"Yes! I'll call a truce to rip your filthy arms from their filthy sockets and jam them into you filthy…TRUCE?!?" Zim called out in surprise.

"Yeah, I agree with Zim…TRUCE?!?" Dib also exclaimed.

"Why?" Bri inquired quietly.

"Because, in the past 24 hours, we've both been beaten, bruised, embarrassed, and we all need to rest."

"I don't need to rest." Gaz scoffed at Det's reasonable explanation.

"…man, I hate you." Det said, trying to inflict as much mental damage as possible, but Gaz just shrugged it off. "Anyway, do we have an agreement?"

"NO WA-" Dib started screaming, but Bri quickly barged in.

"Deal."

"WHAT?!?" Zim and Dib said concurrently.

Det smiled slyly. "Good." The screen blinked out and retracted into the pseudo-ship.

Dib was mortified. "Bri! How could you believe him? He's just going to attack us again and again until he wipes us out completely!"

"I know." Bri calmly replied.

Dib just stared at the suddenly stoic boy. "And you just went along with it?"

"Yep." Bri then walked back inside, leaving Dib utterly puzzled at Bri's craziness that seemed to surpass even his own.

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The screen had just turned off in Zim's base, and the Irken was already ranting about how much he hated Det's plan and that their partnership was over and a trillion other things, but none of that mattered. What did matter was Bri's awakening. What did matter were Bri's impressive abilities. What did matter terrified Det to the bottom of his soul.

Bri was stronger than him.

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As Sgt. Hobo trotted across one of the rare barren plains on Hobo 13, Tak and Sizz-lorr followed, bickering over whose planet was worse to suffer through.

"I had to feed thousands of freaks greasy food every day!" the massive fry cook argued.

"I had to clean a mud encrusted battle cruiser with a rock!" the weaker Irken disputed.

"ENOUGH!" Hobo yelled, as he had listened to the two clash for hours and was sick of it. "I had to get punched fifty feet by Zim and was chewed on for six months by a monster with buck-teeth!" Tak and Sizz-lorr promptly shut their traps after that.

Eventually, Tak spoke up. "So why are we going to the middle of the desert? I thought we wanted to kill Zim."

"We do." Hobo replied. "But the closest launch pad is halfway across the planet, soldier."

"We're not your soldiers, and why are we going the opposite way of the launch pad if it's on the other side of the planet?" inquired Sizz-lorr.

"Because, the Holding Pen of PAIN is in the vicinity of the launch pad." Hobo said, emphasizing the word pain. He then bent down and picked up a small pebble.

"So?" the other Irkens asked in chorus.

Hobo tossed the pebble at the ground in front of him, causing the ground to shake. The terrain before the three split open and a large slithering mass of mechanical eels launched out and lunged at the trio.

"How do you think we get to the Holding Pen of PAIN?" Hobo inquired before the approaching monstrosities rapidly diving at Tak and Sizz-lorr caused them to scream.

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Heh heh. PAIN is a fun thing to say. Seriously, name any object, scream the words 'of PAIN' afterwards, and it will immediately sound cool. I kid you not. Go ahead and try. I'll wait. 3 minutes later Neat, eh? Review please!


	10. Plans & Good Nature

I cannot believe I waited so long to put this up. It wasn't that I had writer's block, (at least some of the time,) I just…didn't do it. Oh well. It's here now. Enjoy.

Wait a second!

None of that was witty!

I'VE LOST MY TOUCH!!! KA-WAHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!

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"The Bri is even STRONGER!?!" Zim exclaimed in a frightened style.

"Giblets? EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEKK!!!" Gir added. The alien and robot proceeded to run around in a panic and fits of screaming while Det sat in the center of the room for several seconds.

"Alright." Det began, his voice instantly silencing Zim and Gir's. "We're going to attack now."

This greatly disturbed Zim. "Heeeeey! All your plans so far have dampened Zim's plans like a damp sponge beast with their need for secrecy! Now you wish to attack him in plain sight?!?"

"Yes."

"Eh, okay…wait a minute…WHY?!?"

"Because if we didn't, everything would literally fall apart." This puzzled Zim even more.

Det looked amused by Zim's perplexed face. "Let's go."

Zim reluctantly followed while Gir sucked on a sippy cup shaped like a monkey's head.

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Bri had walked out of Dib's house and was on to the middle of the street when Dib caught up to him.

"Wait!" the paranormal investigator called. "Why did you and Det agree to not attack each other if you both are know the other one is lying?!?"

Bri walked onto the asphalt and removed the sewer cover from the sewer line. "Because if he attacks now, we'll have to get off the planet sooner."

Dib stared questioningly. "…and?"

"And if we do, we'll miss the three Irkens coming to kill Zim, and us in the crossfire." Bri then threw the heavy metal disk straight up.

"Irkens?!?" Dib was now ecstatic and frightened all at once, if possible.

"Yep. Irkens." There was a loud clanging sound from above, a grunt of pain, and a falling mass of human child and Irken technology.

Det slowly stood up, cursing under his breath. "It…It doesn't matter how well you can through a manhole, blondie. We're still gonna beat ya'!"

"Dib. Start the ship." Bri ordered, jumping up and landing on the flying green dog diving towards him. As Dib ran to power up the pseudo-ship, Zim shoved Bri off of Gir, who expertly elbowed the rocketing Det in the face. Zim then tried to use his Pak claws to apprehend the amazingly agile boy, but after ramming Det to the floor, Bri grabbed Gir and tossed him at the alien.

"Awwwww, I hug you too!" Gir cried, gripping Zim's face in a painful robot squeeze. Det tried to launch himself at Bri again, but Zim & Gir's crazy antics disrupted Det's path and cause him to collide with the two. Just then, Dib reappeared with the pseudo-ship, which Bri promptly jumped into. Bri and Det glanced at each other one last time, utter hate apparent in the latter's eyes, calm apathy in the formers, before the ship shot into the recesses of deep space.

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It was dark, so dark; even for Sgt. Hobo's enhanced vision there was barely any light. There were thousands of other creatures here, each of them failures from his course. They were continuously trying to attack him, destroy the one who sentenced them to this nightmare pit of despair and unpleasant experiences. Soon enough, however, Hobo found the ladder which all the others were too stupid (or disoriented by endless torture; there really is no difference.) to reach for. He hauled his massive self up and lay on the pale blue floor for a second to regain his strength. He then stood up and reached into the giant hole containing writhing masses of letdowns. He soon pulled up a terrified Tak and Sizz-lorr, who hugged each other for whatever amount of comfort they could derive from each other's cold alien souls. Hobo raised his real eyebrow at them for a second before they could realize that they were out of the pit. They're eyes popped open and they instantly released each other, wiping off their clothes as if they had touched something massively disgusting.

"Well, let's move out, soldiers." Hobo called, walking down the lone hallway that led out of the room.

"…We're…We're not you're soldiers." Sizz-lorr wearily called out. "And this ship had better be worth going in there for."

"And touching him." Tak added, pointing to the large fry cook.

"And touching me." Sizz-lorr mindlessly agreed before realizing what he said and growling at the smaller Irken.

The large gray doors at the end of the hallway swung open to reveal a spectacle of a ship. "Oh, I'd say it's worth it." The sergeant said sarcastically. The vessel was long and deep black, with round engines attached to the rear end and a large blade-shaped laser at the front which tapered in four directions to smaller, swifter lasers.

"Behold, the Unlucky Breaker Blade Ex-thousand!!!" Hobo exclaimed, raising his massive fists for drama.

"Whatever. Let's just go get Zim already!" Tak said, her need to kill the short nuisance blotting out the excitement of the ship. As the three stepped up a ramp into the amazing piece of machinery, the trio each began plotting their own painful cacophony for Zim to endure. As they plotted, though, they failed to notice a small, stout, beat-up Irken Invader with blotches of who-knows-what pasted on his shirt-a-ma-jig crawling toward the great craft.

"A ship?!?" he screamed, his injuries instantly vanishing as he saw his only means of escape. "Finally!! Invader Skoodge gets off of Hobo 13 to an obviously good natured place!" Skoodge proclaimed, subsequently waddling up the ramp into the ship where he would go to an obviously bad natured place.

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Well, well, all the pieces are falling into place…BO-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-BWA!!!!!!!!!!! Yep. Review, please, and read my Kingdom Hearts story, Insects, as well!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!


	11. Anger Management & Cliffs

Alright. School's practically DEAD to me, so I've much time to write stories. Oh, joyous day! 'Cept I do have summer school, which caused me to attempt to re-grow the arm I lost in Vietnam by using lizard DNA and turning myself into a monstrous….wait, wait, that's something else, completely unrelated…you should probably just ignore that. Enjoy the chappie.

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"AWWW, THIS IS GREAT!!!" Dib exclaimed, his eyes racing in his head to gather all the information they could from the cold void outside the ship. "IN SPACE!!! ME!!! _**SPACE!!!**_" Dib then collapsed to the floor of the craft and began breathing heavily. Bri sat motionless at the controls, occasionally making slight adjustments to the path they were traveling, looking only straight ahead. Soon, Dib's excitement wore down and the curious part of his brain took over.

"Man, Bri, how did you know how to do all this?" he asked the stoic boy.

Bri blinked and finally looked away from the giant windshield. "I…I really don't know. I mean, it just came to me real quick. Like I always knew it but never really…knew it."

The other lad hesitated before responding. "…Hey! Another ship!" Dib said, trying to change the subject and point out objects in space at the same time.

The ship that passed them was utterly sinister looking, with its giant blade shaped obverse and laser turrets at the end of the blade. Suddenly, the turrets turned toward them, like Zim's gnomes, except obviously more painful.

"Those are the three Irkens that want to kill Zim." Bri ominously said.

"Are they going to fire at us?" Dib asked, worry in his voice.

"Well…yes and no." replied Bri, trying to find the right words. The side of the blade-ship slid open slightly and out shot a small green and pink figure.

"How can they fire at us and not-" Dib was interrupted by the sound of an Irken crashing into the windshield. The figure slowly opened its reddish eyes and stared at the confused earthling with a large head.

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After more than five minutes of air loss and random phrases, Zim pulled Gir off his face and through him at a nearby tree, which promptly collapsed. The extraterrestrial glanced around a few times in search of his target, but could only see Det punching craters into the earth.

Zim walked over and asked, "What are you doing?"

"Anger! Management! What's! It! Look! Like!" Det replied in between punches. He struck the ground a few more times before standing up and catching his breath while Zim continued to stare. (If someone like Zim thinks it's weird, you know it must be.) Gir then chose that moment to leap over and ask an important question.

"Now what are we gonna dooooooooo?" the robot solicited, enunciating the last word in a typical Gir-like fashion.

"Well, we're trapped on planet Earth with no ship, while three Irkens are now coming to kill Zim." Det revealed, causing instant panic to register on Zim's face.

"The Bri would simply let me be killed?!?" Zim exclaimed, worry dripping from his voice.

"No." This caused Zim's face to, once again, contort in confusion. "He was designed not to kill any living thing. Kind of the opposite of me…"

"So how could he just let them come kill me?" Zim asked, still confused as ever by Det's incessant words.

"Because…" Det couldn't believe it. Bri was…he was actually making him…

"Because he's making me help him."

Det punched the ground one more time before rocketing off into the sky. Zim looked analytical for a second before calling Gir and jetting back to the base, letting Det do what he would.

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"Grrrr…How did that little twerp get on the ship?!?" Tak screamed at no one in particular after they had launched Skoodge out the airlock.

"Twerp? He was almost as tall as you." Sizz-lorr insinuated.

"…Shut up!" she sheepishly replied. "How close are we, Homeless?"

"That's Hobo, you sniveling worm face!" the good sergeant stated.

"Whatever! How close are we to Earth?!?" Tak was so very frustrated with her associates, as to her they were the most thick-headed creatures alive.

"We've just passed their asteroid belt and are closing in on the planet, soldier."

Tak was so excited by the prospect of Zim seeing his own intestines that she didn't even correct Hobo for calling her his soldier. Soon, Earth came into sight on the view screen, and grew until it filled the whole screen. Shortly, details began to emerge as they drew ever closer to their target. Unfortunately, the screen turned to static before they could find Zim's base.

"Now what happened?!?" Tak screamed.

"Hmm…something's blocking the signal from outside...purposefully." Hobo explained after running a diagnostic and shifting the direction of the ship away from the ground.

"What could purposefully block the signal if nothing knew we were coming?" the fry cook asked.

"Something must've known we were coming, obviously." Tak stated, connecting the dots. She ran over, opened the airlock and stepped through it with her Pak's claws to search for the problem.

"Something that's about to die." She glanced around until she found the problem. Somehow, a _human_ of all creatures had latched on to the side of the ship and was waiting for her next to the broken visual receptor, his gauntlets glowing with anticipation.

Under his breath, Det cursed Bri for making him fight this obviously elite Irken soldier. He activated his rockets and launched forward, initiating the battle.

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Sorry for the cliff hanger, but a big fight scene is coming up (obviously), so I want it to have its own chapter. Fun, fun, fun! Also, not too sure what to do with Skoodge, so any suggestions are greatly appreciated. Every review I receive gets me one more minute to live, so PLEASE REVIEW!!!


	12. Voyeurism & Gametime

Alright, I not be well at fightn' scenes, so this could be a little…rough. If I screw up at this, I'd be happy to fix & repost the chapter. So, now, enjoy my mental excrement and faulty plot structures!!!!! YUM-MAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Tak could not believe it. This little, insignificant…_human, _was actually attacking her? The strongest Irken ever? With Irken technology? In **atmosphere?**

Ah, well. His funeral.

Tak jumped off the rushing ship onto the equally rushing human and used two of her Pak-claws to fool around with his rockets. Unfortunately, the human used the sudden drop in altitude from the malfunctioning rockets to get Tak off of his back and subsequently punched her in the abdomen. She struggled to catch her breath for a second before contracting her Pak-claws and activating her own rockets.

"Grrr…How did he do-" The Irken was interrupted suddenly by an elbow drop to the head, courtesy of the wretched human. Oh, come on! This was a human she was dealing with! How could she be losing so easily?

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'How could she be losing so easily?' Det thought as the Irken fell again towards the earth, activated her rockets, and once again rushed at him. He effortlessly evaded her attack by swerving left and kicking her right shoulder. She cursed in pain as she rubbed her injured shoulder.

"What's with you?" Det called across the distance of air that separated the two. "I thought you were supposed the be the Irken elite, but you don't really seem to be able to do anything."

"Rrrr…you're dead!!!" she shrieked as she rocketed yet again, except this time upwards.

"What the…?" Det wondered as the Irken hid in front of the sun, blocking her actions. After a few seconds, Tak fell down towards Det, except this time her rockets had retracted. This time, her Pak-claws were out, extended sideways, and forming a glowing blue energy ball.

By the time Det realized this, it was too late to move. So he gritted his teeth, held his hands up, and tried to catch the dangerously radiating sphere.

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In the underground base, Zim gazed at a large screen which showcased Det's battle from a hidden camera. He squinted at the Irken figure as she got kicked in the shoulder. Suddenly, he recognized the alien.

"Tak!" Zim said with as much venom in his voice as he could muster. He watched for a few more seconds when Tak dropped down in the energy orb while Gir sucked on an ice slushy in the background.

"Woo." Zim said with relief. "Glad that isn't me."

"Mm-hmm." Gir agreed while polishing off his slushy.

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Det's pupils shrank and he had to shut his eyes and turn his head to avoid getting burned by the sparks coming from the friction of his gauntlets against pure spinning energy. He could feel the heat emanating from the opposing forces, the shock of electricity as his gloves shredded apart, but most of all he could feel the Irken's grinning face taunting him as his arms began to shake.

'That face won't be smiling for long.' Det thought as he steadied himself, opened his eyes, searched for the invading blade ship, focused all his energy into _throwing_, and did just that.

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"Where's Tak?" Sizz-lorr asked inquisitively. "It shouldn't take this long to dispatch such a lower life form."

Hobo glanced at the radar screen to see where the two adversaries were when he bared his teeth in a cocktail of anger and surprise. 

"Soldier." Hobo said, opening the airlock. "Look outside."

Sizz-lorr complied and looked out the airlock. What he saw deeply confounded him. Tak was returning to the ship in her Pak's energy shield. But, as the fry cook could tell by her velocity and gaping, screaming mouth, not of her own free will. It was as if someone had thrown her back.

"What is this human?" Sizz-lorr wondered and he removed a small staff from his own large Pak. He pushed a button on the cylinder and it grew into a much longer staff with a large, thin square at the end with five large circles cut into it. Just as Tak reached the ship in her safeguard, Sizz-lorr batted her back with his giant spatula, not even breaking a sweat.

The huge Irken grinned slightly, holding onto the edge of the doorway, thus hanging off the ship. "Oh, this should be fun."

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Det looked mildly surprised at the fry cook launching the smaller Irken back at him. He didn't quite anticipate this outcome, but it didn't matter. The end result would be the same.

He centered all his energy into his hands again and placed them just in front of him as the energy sphere containing the Irken returned to him. The sphere spun for a second before Det punched it back at the ship again. He smiled, realizing, knowing what was about to occur.

And it couldn't be more absurd.

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Zim still played voyeur while watching Sizz-lorr beat Tak, once again, back at Det. After watching a few more volleys of the poor female Irken, Zim chuckled. If one were to look at the two fight from above, one might actually assume that they were in fact playing…

"THEY'RE A PLAYIN' PING PONG! WHEE HAAAW!" Gir screamed, jumping onto Zim's head.

Zim violently shoved the small robot off of his cranium and began to watch the screen again.

"Yes…" the alien muttered, smirking at Tak's misfortune. "Ping pong indeed…"

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Ugh. Oh, man, this was too much. Tak couldn't stand being launched back and forth between the meathead and the human any more. She could barely hold her organs in as it was.

So, after she got hit by Sizz-lorr's massive spatula again, she formulated a plan. A sane person might consider it suicidal, but under the circumstances, sanity played a very small part in her plan.

As she reached the halfway point in her current air path, Tak lowered her energy shields, pointed her Pak-claws forward, and greatly anticipated the coming bloodshed.

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Det lost his former smile at his foe's recent action. As if something so easy to expect could hurt him.

With speed one would imagine a ninja might have, or perhaps a video gamer, Det shoved her claws out of the way as the Irken arrived at him and grasped her long antennae. As Det looked into her deep mauve eyes, he recognized an odd mix of expressions on her face. It was something like fear and respect blended into a vat of hatred.

Almost like she was an actual person.

Heh. Yeah right.

Det tossed her up into the air, rocketed up, and punched the Irken like he had never punched any pale green alien invader before. This time, the giant Irken couldn't launch her back; whether he didn't want to hurt her now that she was defenseless or his spatula just wasn't strong enough didn't matter. What did matter was that she tore straight through the ship and caused a small explosion to rock the ship and send it crashing onto the ground below. Det frowned in contempt at the pitiful attacks by the invaders just before speeding over to the crash site.

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Hobo rubbed his aching cyborg head in agony and fury. His beautiful ship, pride of the Vortian scientific prisoners, totally obliterated by some backwater planet's super resident with pilfered Irken technology; oh man, was that human going to pay. The sergeant stood up out of the wreckage of his pride and joy, surveyed the area around him and spotted the wretched human who tore his ship down. Hobo snickered at his opponent.

He hadn't killed something in months, and Hobo didn't want to get rusty.

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Sorry for the cliffhanger, but it was a very long chapter (relatively), and the Hobo fight'll be, hopefully, utterly good. And in case you're wondering, there was no Dib & Bri in this chapter because a certain reviewer who shall not be named, (Pajama Jam, the loving jerk,) and I have no idea with what which I should do Skoodge stuffs. You heard me. Review please.


	13. Beatdowns & Mysterious Appearences

I won't say much, cause I really want the actiON to begin, what with the sergeant an' all. BEGIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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As Det surveyed the area, he saw no signs of the former two Irkens whom he beat like crazy. But, if he was right, (which he was,) then the last alien would be the hardest to fight.

Just then, Det heard what sounded like a chain rattle and instinctively ducked. As he ducked, Det saw a giant metal hand attached to an equally large metal chain shoot past his head. He ran to the left as the hand retracted to its owner, a giant military cyborg.

"Figures." Det grumbled before launching into battle for the umpteenth time today.

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The human was rushing him, even though he had already fought with two other Irken power houses and was extremely worn out. Hobo had to give him an 'A' for effort. As the Earthling jumped into the air while charging his damaged gauntlet, Hobo launched his hand again at him. The human sped toward the sergeant, punching his steel fist out of the way and continued his attack. But, the human underestimated Hobo's abilities. As he attempted to ram Hobo, the Irken militant activated rockets on the outside of his metal hand and simultaneously retracted it, thus making it bash into the human's head. The human collapsed onto the ground just in front of Hobo, seemingly knocked out.

Humph. What a pitiful creature, tired out so easily. Hobo picked him up by the hair, similar to the way the human did to Tak, and lightly slapped his face. However, his other arm had spikes on it, so when he lightly slapped him, it hurt like one could only imagine. The human opened his eyes and stared directly at the sergeant.

"Congratulations…" the piteous human whispered. "You beat up…a guy…one-fourth…your size…"

Hobo growled again and raised his spiked fist to punch the human in his laughably bloodied face, but before he could damage the human's face anymore, the human pushed a button on his gauntlet, which then produced a sinister red light. Normally, a simple light wouldn't help much, but this particular light caused the visual sensors in Hobo's robot eye to go haywire and cause unequivocal pain. As Hob gripped his face in an attempt to ease the hurting, the human fell to the ground, landed on his feet, and yet again, rocketing toward an Irken. He blasted his entire body into Hobo's midsection, which caused the cyborg to tumble over and spit out a mixture of spit and purple goo.

The human actually made him bleed. Impossible. NO ONE can make him bleed.

This thing, Hobo decided, could not be human.

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At the base, Zim watched Det foolishly fight Sgt. Hobo. He knew from experience that the sergeant was an extremely tough opponent; the only reason he had beaten him was because he cheated. (Although the almighty Zim would never admit it.)

"Hmmm…" Zim pondered. "If the Det loses, then Tak and the others will be free to get to me! I must intervene, must selflessly save myself! GIR!!!"

The petite machine flew down from the ceiling in Doggy mode. "Yes, my master?!?"

"Quickly! To, eh, wherever the Det is. NOW!!!" the Invader ordered.

"I FOUND MYSELF A PILE A HAIR!" Gir screamed before shooting confetti out his head, doing a little dance, and rocketing out the base and to Det's location.

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Det tried to gather his breath while simultaneously preparing to attack the giant Irken again. Man, this was getting tough. He doubted if he could fight much more. After that small Irken shredded his gloves, Det had essentially been using his own nerve pulses as power. Now, he was going numb in his arms, and could just barely activate his rockets. But, from the looks of things, so was the cyborg.

Crap.

'This'll hurt pretty badly.' Det thought, catching up with the mechanized Irken.

Det feinted punching the Irken's stomach, which he caught with his robotic hand, and then kicked the Irken in its puny little shin's. True, this was a rather dirty tactic, but when fighting a monstrous alien automaton fueled by pure rage, dirty tactics seemed okay to Det.

Just as the Irken looked around for the pain causing human, he smashed down into the alien, causing him to plunge to the ground. But, as the Irken fell, he launched his fist again at Det, who this time was actually not able to deflect it and was caught in the fist and dragged down with the Irken. The alien crashed into the ground, and seconds later, so did Det.

The entire plane of existence seemed to spin and vibrate as Det tried to regain footing, but instantly fell. So many bones had to be braking, internal bleeding occurring, brains leaking out his ear. Ugh. He was gonna die. Great.

'I swear,' Det thought with his last blinking piece of consciousness. 'Bri is gonna die…'

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The rubble around one of the piles if broken ship shifted, and Tak climbed out. That crash would've killed her, had she not activated her shields the instant she entered the craft. She shook off the dust on her skin, and looked around for the soon-to-be late human who did this to her. Tak then saw Hobo fall to the ground, his hand holding the human falling next.

She smiled viciously as she once again used her Pak-claws and skittered to the crash site, wanting so much to kill the little moron who practically killed her.

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Sizz-lorr sat on one of the wrecked hunks of the former hull, watching Hobo battle the human who had so casually beaten him and Tak. It seemed like they were both struggling against the other, and the human was already tired out from before! But, finally, a break in the melee. Hobo crashed down along with the human. Perfect.

Sizz-lorr produced another monster of a spatula and rushed over to rip the sorry Earthling into atoms.

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Hobo groaned as he slowly stood up and located the human who he had lost after his fist contracted back to his arm. He activated his rockets like the human had done so many times before, and rushed forward, hoping to kill the human.

Of course, he didn't necessarily have to kill him now. The human would die from the amount of damage he had sustained before anyway.

He just wanted to be sure.

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Oh, darn it! The Det was already down! Zim carefully wondered why he was even risking his life at all to save a HUMAN of all things, especially one that bossed him around. And yet, here he was. Hovering on his green dog above the crater he made when he crashed down. And now all three of the Irkens were attacking at once! Totally unfair!

Grudgingly and with a sigh, Zim rushed down to try and aid Det's fracas.

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Det looked around. All he saw were sinister claws, metal fists, and…cooking utensils. Well, it still looked bad. He still couldn't stand up, and he still couldn't fight back. Det was almost ready to accept his fate when he saw someone from above actually flying straight down toward him.

Zim.

The neon green narcissist was actually helping him. Whether it was because Zim actually cared or because he needed Det to protect him didn't matter; Zim was gonna save him. He got to live.

Seconds later, in a flash of blue rockets, claw, fist, and spatula all came together and smashed into a short Irken Invader who rode a green robot with blue rockets.

Meters away, Zim recognized the Invader.

"Skoodge?"

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'Nuther cliffhanger, 'nuther odd twist, 'nuther chapter that needs explainin'. And it will be explained next chapter, which will include Bri and Dib. Reviews are like tacos. They fuel my need to write, and are encased in delicious crunchy corn tortilla shells.


	14. Questionnaires & Minefields

Note: This takes place during all the fighting in the last two chapters. See, I made up for the lack of Bri, Dib, and Skoodge's part in the story! Huzzah! Snicker! The Flintstones!

READ THE CHAPTER PLEASE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Dib and Bri stared at the miniscule creature outside the pseudo-ship for a few seconds before Dib spoke up.

"Should we let him in? I mean, he is Irken…" Dib asked, confused as to how to treat the poor alien.

Bri didn't answer. He simply pushed one of the controls on the ship and sat back. Dib was about to question this when the ship's engine fired up when momentum took over and sent the large headed boy flying. The poor alien stuck to the front looked like he was screaming, but in the vacuum of space, one couldn't be sure.

The three kept traversing the universe this way for hours, the Irken screaming, Dib being shoved to the back of the ship with great force, Bri sitting stoic in the driver's seat. Suddenly, Bri pushed another button on the control panel, causing the ship to stop just as abruptly. Dib and the Irken outside both shot forward simultaneously, except for one key difference.

Dib had a nice, soft, forgiving, bone-shatteringly painful glass windshield to stop him.

The Irken didn't.

So, expectedly, the green alien launched back into deep space, somehow still shrieking all the while. Dib got up from the floor, in great pain, and groaning from the same. Bri stood up himself and began fiddling with odd looking controls in the middle of the ship. Finally, Dib got sick of being thrown around the universe and started to question Bri's methods.

"Alright, what the heck is going on?!?" Dib asked with just the right amount of subtlety.

"What do you mean?" Bri calmly replied.

"What do you mean what do I mean?!?" continued Dib with increasing anger.

"What do you mean what do I mean what-" Bri tried to continue the inane banter but Dib interjected.

"I MEAN, what is going on? Ever since you talked to Det last, you've been acting like you've got some super-human powers! We're not super-humans!!!"

"…only a half truth…" Bri muttered, grabbing one last lever on the controls.

"…What?" was all Dib could reply.

Bri turned to look at Dib for a second more. "Goodbye, Dib." He said before pulling the lever, causing a thick pale mauve door to crash down between the two boys, effectively separating the ship into two parts.

Just as Dib began to think of how to reopen the door, however, small blue rockets activated between the ship parts, (I sure do use blue rockets a lot.) shooting the two apart a sea of void and space. Dib could only watch as he sped away from Bri into the unknown universe.

Now, this would normally be no big deal to Dib; Zim pulled this kind of stuff all the time. All he had to do was pilot his half of the ship to wherever Bri went and maintain his line of questioning. It was then that Dib realized something.

The ships controls were different than before.

They looked like some kind of hybrid game controller/computer keyboard/digital clock/ robot monkey. It was confounding beyond belief. So, as an experiment, Dib pushed a harmless button to the left of the monkey head. This caused the ship to violently sputter, shake, and shoot straight toward an odd looking planet. This also caused Dib to be blasted, yet again, to the back of the ship.

Fantastic.

He was going to die on a crazy alien planet without any human knowing it.

Oh, well. Like any human would care anyway.

He blacked out.

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Skoodge kept on screaming in his air bubble until he just got bored and tried to recognize his surroundings. Hmmm, odd… He seemed to be going too fast to recognize anything…

_**BANG!!!!!!!**_

Well, he did recognize agonizing pain.

Skoodge tried to see what he had crashed into, but it didn't look like much. Just a metal ball, blinking red. The alien looked around him and saw many more of the balls, surrounding a vast part of space, almost like a minefield.

…minefield…?

He looked back to the ball he crashed into and saw it blinking faster, a brighter red. Skoodge closed his eyes and waited for the pain to come.

And come it did. The force and heat of a billion suns on every atom of his body, the worst that could be imagined, times 10,000,000,000. Then, abruptly, the pain subsided.

Skoodge opened his eyes to a very peculiar sight. Two floating, glowing white butterfly-shaped creatures with intricate features adorning their delicate looking bodies.

"Why, hello small Irken." One of them mind-spoke. "How did you get here by yourself?"

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Open ended? Yes! Do I care? No! Should I care? Yes! Will you review? Yes! Will I stop using yes-or-no questions by the end of the chapter? No! Can I stop using yes-or-no questions by the end of the chapter? No! Should you call for help? YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


	15. Butterfliers & RESISTANCE!

Hmmm, it seemed that the butterfly aliens were unrecognizable, but shall be revealed as to what they are in the chapter. Which is next. In case you couldn't tell. Which you couldn't. Because that's how I planned it. Because I'm just that awesome. Search your feelings. You know it to be true. Reading time now.

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Skoodge's shiny red eyes illustrated much, much confusion as to how, why, and where these odd creatures saved his life. Every other intelligent life form hated the Irken race; who would deliberately save one?

"Come, Skoodge." The same creature telepathed again. "We've much to discuss."

"Wait!" the Invader exclaimed, freaked by the fact that random aliens knew his very name. "How did you save me? WHY did you save me? Who are you?!?!?" Skoodge began to shake and hyperventilate out of fear of what could happen.

"We are Meekrobs." The alien yet again mind-spoke. "And there is no time to dawdle. The universe is in danger and you are required to save it!"

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Small, almost unnoticeable sounds emanated from a large, tall, steel chair located in the middle of a dark, cavernous room. A little gray creature, whose head was adorned with two horns that pointed back and down, along with sickly green goggles that would normally window twin white eyes, slept (and snored) peacefully on his metal seat. His slumber was soon interrupted by a really freaky looking floating purple cone-a-majigger that hovered in out of nowhere.

"Hey, sir…?" the cone asked, waking the quiescent alien.

The gray alien sighed. "What, you inept, lethargic, ineffectual, unintelligent sidekick?"

"…But my name's SHLOONKTAPOOXIS!" the cone idiotically replied.

The gray alien's left eye twitched. "I know what your name is; I am LARD NAR!! Leader of the mighty Resisty! I know all of your names! Oh, those Irken overlords may have defeated us once, but soon, very soon, they shall pay for making whole galaxies suffer just so they could have…GREASY SNACK FOODS! AHHH-AHHHHHHH-AHHH!!!!!!!!!!"

The room fell silent for a moment. "Talkin' to your self again there?" the funnel asked, sticking his tongue out.

"Hmm…yes." Lard Nar replied, quickly glancing from side to side. "Now, what was it you woke me for?"

"Oh, yeah, see this…IRKEN ship fell out of atmosphere and…RIGHT onto our doorstep. Yeah." Shloonktapooxis said, and then started poking the ground lazily.

Lard Nar calmly sat down on his tall chair and panicked like crazy. "OH, MAN!! THEY FOUND US! THEY FOUND US ALL!!! WE'RE GONNA GET KILLED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" The Vortian leader screamed, his voice squeaking, his teeth bore in crazy alien fear.

Shloonktapooxis stopped his needless activity and interjected Lard Nar's crazy rantings. "But I thought you were 'LARD NAR!! Leader of the mighty Resisty!'" the cone said, perfectly imitating his leader. "Shouldn't you, you know, do something about the ship?"

Lard Nar became calm again. "You're right! We'll just go out there, and defeat that crazy Irken menace once and for all! Right, Resisty!?!" The lights then turned on to reveal every other Resisty member sleeping like Lard Nar just was, albeit the tall chair.

Lard Nar sighed then jumped down and ran off to the entrance to their secret base.

The Vortian reached a large steel door, with a glowing blue hand print in the middle. He put his hand on the glowing print, which subsequently gave him second-degree burns.

"AAAAAAAHHH! Who replaced the hand-dentifier with burny wall?!?" Lard Nar shrieked, nursing his burns.

Shloonktapooxis floated in again. "Yeah, that was me. Sorry." The cone pushed a blue button on the wall next to the door, which subsequently opened. Out side, Lard Nar noticed something odd about the Irken ship.

Other than the fact that it had exploded into a million pieces.

Something must've caught fire when the ship crashed. Oh, well. One less Irken monster to eventually destroy. But the smoldering remains of the ship didn't match up. One chunk looked like the most advanced piece of alien hardware ever constructed. Another chunk looked so outdated that a Vort ship would be more common than it. (And Vort ships didn't exist anymore.)

It was as if some creature, some where, was able to combine two parts of different ships to make a kind of…pseudo-ship.

Lard Nar was about ready to retreat back inside his fortress and hide from whatever mean monster might kill him when, once again, Shloonktapooxis began to talk.

"COOL!! It musta been like, ka-BWOOOSH! Man! I don't know HOW that thing survived it." The giant cylinder pointed him self at a small being Lard Nar hadn't noticed before. It was about his height, maybe a little taller, considering the giant black spike on his giant scorched head.

"Hmmm…Drag him in. He may have information on Irken technology, judging on the ship he came in."

"Gotcha, boss-man!" Shloonktapooxis complied, picking the being up by its foot and slowly dragging it inside the base.

Lard Nar was suspicious of the creature, considering it was in an Irken ship. But, it did crash down, making it seem as if the creature didn't know how to pilot the ship. And no Irken's disguise was that…freaky. Well, one thing was for sure.

The Resisty just got one new member.

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Okay, kudos/props/magical mystic thanks go to my brother bigben89. He inspired the much of the story line and this would suck much more than it does already if he didn't contribute. Now that that's out of the way, REVIEW OR FACE THE WRATH OF MY KITTEN WHO IS VERY ITCHY AND GASSY!!!!!!!!!!!


	16. Perfect Entities & Scheming

MUCH apologies for taking so long to do this. Summer school, much like average school, totally drains my soul. So it's difficult. But here it is; the last chapter without every main character involved. Which means the story might end soon. BUT YOUR DESPAIR SHOULD WAIT UNTIL I EAT YOUr GALL BLADDER INSTEAD OF NOW!!!!!! There'll, in all probability and possibility, be a sequel to it. But if you'd have read my profile you'd know that!! WWWWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!!!

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"Save the universe?"

"That's correct."

"Me?"

"Yes."

"Invader Skoodge?"

The Meekrob sighed. "YES, now we must make haste to the science chamber!"

Skoodge stared at the floating alien. Him? SAVE the universe? He was an Invader! He conquered, not saved! And yet, the Meekrob seemed much more convincing as it dragged him down a long hallway into a massive room full of electrifyingly electrical equipment.

"This, Skoodge," the Meekrob explained. "is a duplicate of the most advanced piece of Irken technology ever created. The advanced Irken technology was found on Earth, and the Tallest believe it to be a total mistake. They are wrong."

The extraterrestrial flicked a tendril of its energy being and out appeared a small green robot. It had two large, bulgy purple light bulbs where eyes would be and stout little black fingerless arms sprouting from the small torso. The light bulb eyes flashed to life, and the robot spoke its first words of existence.

"Helllllooooooo, I be P.E.Z!" the robot said, poking its eyes with its nubs.

Skoodge stared at the pitiful machine. "…Pez?"

"Perfect Entity Zero." the Meekrob explained, while Pez continued to stab at its visual receptor bulbs.

"And Pez is gonna help me save the universe." Skoodge stated in disbelief.

"As far as our utterly vast knowledge tells us, yes." The Meekrob replied, slightly annoyed. Pez had stopped poking his eyes, took off his head, and spun it like a top on the floor.

"And how is he gonna do that?" Skoodge asked. But, before the Meekrob could answer the next of Skoodge's exasperating inquiries, Pez spoke up in an uncharacteristically deep voice.

"INTERGALACTIC TELEPORTATION SYSTEM ACTIVATING IN FIVE."

"Enter galacta what?" the diminutive alien said, confused for the billionth time that day.

"Well, Skoodge," the Meekrob began, sounding glad at the robot's words. "It is now time for you to go."

"FOUR."

"Go? Go where?" Skoodge asked, still bewildered.

"To do your job." The Meekrob calmly replied.

"THREE."

"What job?!?" Skoodge screamed.

"TWO."

"The job the human named Bri laid out for you."

Skoodge looked absolutely puzzled at this.

"ONE."

The Meekrob quickly placed Skoodge on Pez's back the machination glowed pale violet, then disappeared along with Skoodge.

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Dib had done a lot of things most Earth folk would never dream of. Fight an insane alien menace and his robo-dog/slave. Escape an alternate nightmare reality full of monstrous versions of people. Drive a planet in a gargantuan dogfight with the previously mentioned alien. But what he was doing now truly was, in a word, unusual.

He had woken to find himself in a large auditorium filled to the brim with freaky alien creatures that all stared at him like _he_ was the weird one. They all stood still in the room, the aliens staring at Dib and vice versa until a small gray one with green eyes leapt forward and caused Dib to raise his arms defensively.

"Greetings, large-head alien!" the gray thing said, halfway between grinning and flipping out. "I am Lard Nar, leader of the Resisty! We fight evil Irken empire to give liberty to all races in the universe!"

Dib stared at the aliens. "You're called the Resisty?"

"Er, ah, well, yes…" Lard Nar burbled.

"Man! That's stupid!"

Lard Nar bowed his head. "Yes. We know."

Dib, feeling slightly bad for insulting their terrible moniker, decided to change the subject. "So, you hate the Irkens, huh? Yeah, they are pretty…" Dib then realized something. "YOU HATE THE IRKENS TOO?!?"

Lard Nar was excited again. "Yes! Those evil monsters tore apart our homes, enslaved my people, want to control everything!"

"Yeah! And they infiltrate ignorant planets with horrible disguises and use crazy technology to hurt people!" Dib was now excited as well.

"And they turn planets into parking structures and prisons and snack food vendors and-"

"They have little robot slaves and make extreme super weapons and put brains in things and…"

The two creatures stared at each other for moments, as if admiring each others aspects, then set to work.

"We need to plan an attack on the Massive, immediately!" Lard Nar began, finally giving orders for the first time in months.

"And we need an attack force to match theirs! I've been studying Irken tech for a while now, and I think I know their weaknesses!" Dib replied, fired up at the thought of finally taking the Irkens down.

"Good! We've got supplies and materials! We'll make the Irken scum wish they never conquered their first planet!" At this, the rest of the Resisty cheered.

"Yeah! And we'll show Zim that my head is not BIG!!!" No one said anything as Dib rose his fists in exhilaration. He bowed his head like Lard Nar had just done and said "Whatever."

Again, the Resisty applauded and ran like ants to get their greatest, most Irken-destroying plan into action.

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Skoodge was traveling at speeds unimaginable, everything a grayish blur, until he was assaulted by a giant metal fist, four point claws, and a massive spatula. And, as if having his body crushed by various torture devices wasn't enough, he heard the voice of one who had caused so much of his pain, agony, suffering, and all around displeasure:

"Skoodge?" Zim said, incredulity dripping from his voice.

"Hiya… Zim…" Skoodge replied, more of his bones cracking as his jaw moved.

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Bri lay back in his seat. All the pieces were in place. His plan set into action. All he could do now was wait. Wait and hope that his scheme would come into fruition.

He smiled at the idea of his plan failing.

That simply couldn't happen.

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Oi, it feels good to have that done. 'Review, please' is the wittiest thing I could think to say to get you to review. Man, I'm running on empty.


	17. Protection & Obsession

This story is getting… so… (fill in adjective)…

AUTHOR'S NOTE: Skoodge had been transported to the exact spot where Hobo's fist, Tak's claws, and Sizz-lorr's spatula were about to hit Det from a few chapters ago. In case that confused you.

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The five creatures (Zim, Det, Tak, Sgt. Hobo, and Sizz-lorr) stared at Skoodge trapped between the latter three's weapons for a few moments. Det took the opportunity to trip Sizz-lorr, who flung accidentally Skoodge at Hobo, who inadvertently launched his chain-fist at Tak, who toppled onto a pile of wreckage.

Det then grabbed Gir's tail, then screamed "GO, GO NOW!!!"

Gir complied, doing a few loop de loops and making elephant noises on the way. The three assailants regained their composure just I n time to see Zim and Det, their only two targets on the whole wretched planet, speeding away faster than they could follow.

They then turned their attention to Skoodge, whom they believed lost in the vacuum of space, who ruined their plans for beautiful, yummy revenge.

"Ugh… my brains hurt…" the small Irken said.

"Oh, don't worry, soldier." Hobo began, anger oozing from his voice. "That's not the only thing that'll hurt." The trio began to advance on Skoodge, each of them full of rage and needing a living punching bag. And, like always, Skoodge was going to be that punching bag.

But, as Skoodge prepared for his usual beatings of unreserved hurt, Pez stepped in front of the alien and did what he never expected any existent organism to even think about considering.

Pez protected him.

"HIIIIIIIII-YA!!!! No body hurt my master 'cept maybe me by accident if I be sleepy!" The robot's eyes glowed an almost brilliantly bright purple as he took random kung-fu poses.

"Oh, it's just another brainless S.I.R unit! Kick it out of the way and break his limbs!" Tak screeched as Sizz-lorr complied, aiming to swat the robot like a fly. But Pez did not fall; Sizz-lorr's fist had smashed onto Pez's head but Pez still stood. Just as the fry cook was about to say something about this, however, Pez activated his red rockets (Red? How shocking!) and carried Sizz-lorr 50 feet up, then threw him down with the force of an atom bomb.

And the resulting crater might as well have been made by an atom bomb; Pez seemed to possess extraordinary strength, which he demonstrated by turning Sizz-lorr into a living projectile.

Fortunately, Pez had the speed to match his strength, for he flew down and picked up Skoodge before the crashing Sizz-lorr could hurt him.

"Awwwwww, be you alrights, master?" Pez asked Skoodge, who on once again rode on Pez's back.

"Uh… yeah…" Skoodge replied, utterly baffled as to why this little green robot was so keen on guarding him.

Not that he was complaining.

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"Hey, freaky head guy!" Shloonktapooxis called to Dib, who was busy perfecting the Resisty armada's ships.

Dib visibly sighed. "My name is DIB. It's not that hard to pronounce!"

The cone stared at him. "Yeah, whatever, Dooob." Dib sighed again. "Anyway, the boss-man wants to know when you're gonna be finished, y'know?"

"Well, the engines and weapons systems are both functional, but I'm not sure about the shields. And of course, we'll have to write a safeguard program to keep them from hacking our network, so…"

Shloonktapooxis had gotten bored and was playing with a ball of space-yarn he had magically produced out of nowhere.

For a third time, Dib sighed, and then began to continue laboring on the vessels.

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Those Irkens… weaker than him but so strong… he just had to rest…

"Det-monkey!" Zim screamed.

Det groaned inwardly. "What in the world do you want." Det stated, not questioned, he was too bushed to question.

"That robot Skoodge had was made from advanced Irken technology. Where did he get it?!?"

Det stood up, ignoring the bleeps and bloops of Zim' lab and Gir, and stared at Zim. "How could you tell it was Irken tech?"

"Because I am **ZIM**." he replied, eyes twitching at the last word.

"Well, you're wrong." Det said, making Zim angry and embarrassed at the same time. "It was a Meekrob mock up."

Zim laughed a bit. "Meekrob? Those glowy space balloons? I just used them to get the Dib to admit his filthy muffin throwing ways! They're harmless. Besides, how would Skoodge find them anyway?"

"Bri." And Zim, for once, understood. The Det-human definitely hated the Bri-human with a passion bordering on obsession; almost the kind of obsession he had for Dib.

Zim's eye twitched at that last thought as he quickly dismissed it.

Det brooded, silent, while Zim contemplated what the heck had been happening. Apparently, the Bri had somehow been able to get control over the Det's actions. And that made the Det into a creature to be feared. Yet again like Zim, the Det did not like to be controlled.

Sulking still, Det got up and began to have the base's computer repair his gauntlets. Zim and Det stayed in the base a while, Gir still bleeping and blooping randomly.

"REPAIRS COMPLETE." the computer monotonized. Det began prepping his gloves again, and Zim asked where he was going now.

"You know how we escaped those three before?" he asked. Zim knew all too well who Det was referring to.

"Yes…" Zim answered, obviously fearing what was coming.

"They're here."

Suddenly, a monstrous crash, a blur of neon green pain, and Zim was pinned against a wall be Tak, Sgt. Hobo, and Sizz-lorr while Det stood on the sidelines.

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Cliff-tacular, eh?


	18. Destruction & Plateaus

"Det… What…are…you…doing?!?" Zim choked, as having Hobo's fist wrapped around his neck made it difficult to breathe.

"If he's smart, he won't do ANYTHING!" Tak screeched. She was still mad at him for beating the purplish gooey blood out of her.

Det simply stood there.

Sizz-lorr shifted his spatula, twisting Zim's organs into aching positions. "Finally, all those years of pain and suffering! All the humiliation, the… bad stuffs! Finally! PAYBACK!!!"

Sizz-lorr lunged, Tak stabbed, Hobo punched, and all three hit a little green robot with purple eyes.

"TEE HEE! You no hurt Pez none!" Pez gleefully exclaimed, dropping Skoodge harmlessly to the floor, subsequently attacking Hobo. Hobo was able to block most of Pez's moves, but when Pez warped behind him, all hobo could do was take the punch and look at all the pretty lights.

Det chose this moment to become forceful and activated his gauntlets, launching into battle in his clichéd way. Sizz-lorr tried to emulate Hobo and block Det's punch with his utensil, but he was neither as strong nor as skillful as the good sergeant, and his spatula instantly shattered.

All that left was Tak and Zim.

"GIR!" Zim ordered. "Protect your master!"

And, for once, Gir obeyed.

Gir jumped into they fray, eyes a gleaming blood red, crazy laser guns sticking out of his head. He fired, once, twice, a thousand times for each gun, and only Det was able to escape the blast of lasers.

When the focused photon's smoke cleared, all that was left were the forms of three Irkens and a victory dancing Pez.

"Oh yeah! We's did it! Dance crazy!" Pez sang.

"OKIE-DAY!" Gir shrieked, joining Pez's boogie.

"Uh… we won…?" Skoodge said, climbing out of the wreckage that was once Zim's base.

"Why, of course, Skoodge! Those traitorous filthy smeet-fools had no chance against ZIM, who, once again, came out unscathed!" Zim ranted, raising his arms in victory! Then, the Invader looked around.

Zim's eye twitched.

"MY BASE! MY DELICIOUS, ZIM-BASE! IT'S GONE! WHERE IS IT! IT'S NOWHERE! IT'S ALL NOT HERE!!!" Zim wept, falling into feedle position. Zim cried pitifully as Det and Skoodge stared inquiringly at him.

Swiftly, Hobo's metal arm reached up and grabbed Pez in his fist.

"Oooooh!" Gir said, poking the metal fist seconds before another spatula crashed over him.

Tak jumped up, rapidly activated her energy shield, and raced toward Zim. This time, Tak was able to hit her target and was soon spinning Zim against the ground.

"YOU LITTLE FREAK! I'M GOING TO GRIND YOU INTO _ATOMS_!!!" Tak yelled, and for a moment, it seemed she was going to make good on that threat, just before getting knocked away by Det.

Det seemed to grow less and less stoic as he fought, because in his eyes were a glint of enjoyment. "So sorry, but you can't kill him. He's got a job to do."

"Job?" Tak asked, thoroughly confused.

"Job?" Zim asked, just as confused.

Det smiled ever so slightly. "He's gonna do what Bri makes him do."

"AND HOW IS HE GONNA DO THAT? HE'LL BE DEAD!!!" Tak once again readied her energy shield.

Det was wearing a full grin and an uncharacteristic voice boomed from Pez. "INTERGALACTIC TELEPORTATION SYSTEM SCTIVATED."

"What?"

"What does that mean?"

"FIVE."

Det continued to grin.

"Det-human! What's going on?!?"

"FOUR."

"Oh, not again…"

"WHAT again?!?"

"THREE."

"Ice cream monkeys, mmm-hmm!"

"I don't understand!"

"TWO."

"It's a teleporter!"

"Teleporter?!?"

"ONE."

"I still hate Bri." Det said to himself as pale violet light flooded the area, and then they disappeared.

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With a thud, everyone landed on a hard, steel gray plateau. Det was able to look up and see, in the distance, series of mountains and valleys, all carved out of stone.

Sizz-lorr was the next up. "Where… where'd that thing take us?" the fry cook said, standing up.

"Doesn't matter." Hobo said, already up for battle. "They can take us anywhere they like; Zim's dead either-"

Hobo wasn't able to finish his sentence, or if he was, no one could hear it over the whir of giant machinery. They looked around, unable to see what made the noise until shadows rose all around them, and they understood.

Over the edge of the plateau came laser turrets, giant robots, one-man ships, all kinds of weapons systems, and all of them were pointed at the creatures below.

At the very top of the force, a hover platform with lasers underneath, also pointed toward everyone lower. Two figure stood atop the platform; one was gray with twin horns slicking back behind his head with green eyes full of victory, the other had a massive head with circular glasses that glared at Zim and Zim alone.

"Alright, Zim!" Dib screamed above the mechanical ruckus. "Are you ready to meet your doom?"

"Resisty! ATTACK!!!" Lard Nar ordered his troops.

And so, they did.

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ALMOST done. ALMOST.


	19. Crappy Fight Scenes & Mechas

Second to last chapter.

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The lasers charged a light sky blue, then released their deadly payload onto the unguarded victims down below.

At first it seemed as if the lasers would hit their target; that is, until Pez sprang into action. The purple-gazed little robot blew a ball of mauve energy like a giant piece of bubble gum. The bubble shield had just covered the entire group of beings as the lasers collided, creating a dark violet smokescreen. The Resisty troops waited for the bodies of the Irkens to be revealed, but instead received a taste of Irken fury.

Det, Tak, and Hobo had each activated their rockets and were taking a different enemy:

Det, the mecha, Tak, the ships, and Hobo took whatever he could grab.

Det punched a mecha in the side, causing it to waver slightly, which Hobo used to knock down and create a domino effect. The first mecha hit a second, then another, then several warships, and soon, half the fleet was gone.

Lard Nar stared at the so-soon-come destruction with fear and amazement. "Er… Keep attacking!"

And they tried to, but just couldn't keep up with Tak's speed. She jumped from ship to ship, causing them to barely miss her and hit each other. One almost did hit her, but she was able to activate her shields and was shot like a pinball across the battle field, destroying many more enemies along the way.

Meanwhile, back on the plateau, ground troops had been deployed, as well as the laser turrets fire. Sizz-lorr used his spatula to smash whatever got close enough to him, whether it be ground troop, ship or turret.

Zim held Gir like a baseball bat, who easily played the part, and screamed "COME, FOOLS, AND FACE THE MIGHT OF THE_** ZIM!!!**_ C'MON! BRING IT!"

The Resisty troops looked at each other, perplexed, and tried to attack Zim. But, miraculously, Zim's Gir-bat worked perfectly and knocked the troops back as fast as they could come.

Skoodge sat in the middle, watching the battles play out, as Pez blocked the occasional laser beam that shot toward his master.

"Oooh! Be me master okie-doo?" Pez asked, subsequently shooting a deadly red laser out his mouth that took out another chunk of the fleet.

Skoodge stared at the wreckage. "J-just fine…"

Dib and Lard Nar continued to watch the dying battle from above. After seeing the majority of their fleet absolutely decimated by a small band of aliens, they were a bit worried.

"…All my ships…" Dib said, mouth agape in shock.

Lard Nar was too busy sucking his thumb in feedle position in the corner of the platform to say anything at all.

Zim swung Gir at yet another attacker, and in the process, saw Dib on the platform above. Dib looked down and saw the alien looking at him.

They stared at each other, oblivious to the war raging around them.

Dib stomped on the platform, causing it to rocket away from the battle.

"Oh, not this time, Dib-monkey…" Zim whispered before sitting on Gir, making the robot chase after Dib.

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Det had finished off the last off the robots and had moved on to forces on the plateau. Sizz-lorr had taken out a sizable amount of advancing forces, but could only do so much. So Det swooped like a hawk and sliced through enemies like butter. Sizz-lorr watched the human as he passed, almost thanked Det, then thought better of it and continued to smash those close to him.

Tak had done a good job of totally decimating the air forces, and, although she would _NEVER_ admit it, Det was actually helping them. Tak gritted her teeth at this self-realization, and began to attack on the plateau herself.

Soon, the Resisty's army had been all but decimated. Only Shloonktapooxis and a few armored troops remained.

"Aw, man, the boss was right! We're gonna die!!" the cone cried, banging his body on the ground.

"At least you're not _completely_ stupid." Det replied, punching the Resisty away and out of sight.

Skoodge was still sitting behind Pez. "We... We made it?" The Irken seemed to come out of a daze and suddenly become patriotic. "Of course we made it! We Irkens are the greatest of races in the universe! YEE-HAW!!!"

"And yet, I'm not Irken." Det said, content with the fact that he could still beat them all.

"Which reminds me…" Sizz-lorr responded, readying his spatula and rushed Det once again.

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Zim had been able to keep up with Dib for awhile, but when Dib had turned a sharp corner and disappeared, he was stumped.

"Gir!" he screamed. "Find the Dib!"

"OOGIE WOOGIE WOOGIE!!!" was the robot's reply as he began to lick a random mountain face.

"RRRRRRRRGGHHH! YOU STUPID LITTLE-" Zim began to scold Gir's stupidity, but stopped after seeing the spot Gir was licking fall down to reveal a hidden passage way.

"Er… Good work."

Gir flew into and through the passage until they reached a large area covered in darkness. Zim tried to see what was in it, but just couldn't adjust to the lighting. That is, until the lights flicked on.

Standing in the middle of the cavernous room was a mecha at least ten times the size of the ones from outside, complete with shoulder mounted laser cannons, trench spike fists, thick pale blue armor and a bubble glass head. (Think the mecha from the Christmas episode, only cooler.)

Suddenly, Lard Nar's voice boomed from the mecha. "HEAR THIS, IRKEN SCUM!!! WE'RE TIRED OF YOUR REIGN OF TERROR, GRIPPING THE GALAXY IN FEAR! IT'S NOT VERY NICE!!!"

Dib then chimed in from the same place. "YEAH! WE'LL SHOW YOU WHAT IT MEANS TO MESS WITH GUYS WHO DON'T LIKE YOU AND HAVE GIANT ROBOT TECHNOLOGY!!!!!"

The mecha's fist rose, then began to fall right where Zim was.

Zim then took all the bravery he could muster, held Gir out in front of him like a shield, and said "Oh, Irk."

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Seriously, the story's almost done.


	20. Black Holes & Insane Children

IT IS DONE. Thank God, I sure did hate this story at times. Thank you, if you've read all the way through. Thank you for suffering through faulty plotlines, inconsistent chapters, annoying terminology, creepy author's notes, and my occasional use of THE EVIL EYE.

And for reviewing. Reviewing means the most of all.

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Det saw Sizz-lorr lunging at him, but he was just so tired. He tried to block, but for once, couldn't move fast enough. The fry cook's massive fist closed around Det's body with a sharp crunch. The Earthling gritted his teeth in an attempt not to scream and tried to activate his pak.

But nothing happened.

"Awww, all outta juice?" the giant mocked. Det actually _was_ out of power. Fighting giant robots really took its toll, he realized. He looked around for anything that could help, but only saw angry Irkens. And Skoodge, but no one counted him.

"He's not quite Zim, but he'll do." Tak menacingly hissed.

Hobo came in close to Det's face. "I hope your species has a hell, Earthling, because that's where you're going."

Sizz-lorr tightened his grip, broke a few more bones, and raised his signature spatula for the final blow.

Det looked at it, saw it begin to fall forcefully toward him, and saw a speck in the sky. A simple black speck. He stared at it with amazement as the spatula was just about to strike.

Then Zim showed up.

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The massive Resisty mecha's punch knocked Zim all the way back through the mountain and outside, where he hopped on Gir's back and told him to "FLY, GIR! FLY FAR AWAY FOR **ZIIIIIIIIM**!!!"

Fly Gir did, at his fastest speed yet, but to no avail. The mecha burst through the mountain as if it were made of Lego and chased Zim down.

"JUST GIVE UP NOW, ZIM! THERE'S NO WAY TO ESCAPE… THIS! YAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!" Dib's voice boomed as the mecha fired its shoulder lasers. Zim screamed while trying to dodge them. One missed, turned around, and smashed into a mountain. The other had (somehow) locked onto Zim and was mimicking his every move.

"GRRRRR…! No simple laser can outsmart that which is ZIM!!!" The Invader, using this self-adrenaline-boost, leapt up off of Gir, allowing the laser to harmlessly pass over Gir's lil' antenna. The blast exploded into an incoming mountain as Zim landed back on Gir, smug from his amazing, agile move.

"HA! Do you see, Gir?" Zim boasted. "Those simpleton _not_ Zim creatures can never stand up to-"

Just then, the mecha flew above Zim and instantly dropped down, pinning Zim to its body.

"G-G-GIR!!! P-P-PROTECT YOUR M-M-MASTER!!!" Zim screamed at the 'bot, who was also pinned.

"I L-L-LIKE T-T-TACOS!!!!!!!!" Gir screamed just before the mecha body slammed them into a mountain. Zim shot out like a bullet toward the plateau they all first arrived in. Gir, on the other hand, was launched from beneath the larger machine the opposite direction.

"I really DO like tacos." Gir said just before crashing into another mountain. He shattered into a million and one pieces, flung across the rocky terrain. The pieces fell into little crevices, large caves, giant valleys, and all across the planet. Dead.

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Zim shot at mach five across the mountain ranges of the unnamed planet, everything blurred, until he crashed into a large mass of Sizz-lorr.

The fry cook "OOF!"-ed somewhat as the miniscule Irken smashed him. Det dropped to the ground, gripping his ribs in pain. The black speck in the sky had grown into a black crevice, Det noticed, and there was a breeze moving up toward it.

Sizz-lorr was out cold. Tak was the first to react to Zim's unceremonious entrance, closely followed by Sgt. Hobo.

She pounced at Zim, claws out, ready for blood.

Hobo shot his chain arm.

Det stood up and ran toward Zim.

The little Irken just stood up himself as he noticed Tak and Hobo assaulting him. Zim braced for impact, just as Det impacted him. They both fell to the ground, narrowly avoiding the attacks. Tak was ready to strike again when a noise came from above.

Everyone looked up and saw the black hole finally. It had grown to the size of the whole plateau, and now that they noticed it, was pulling in air like a vacuum. The noise emanated from the center of the hole, the darkest part. Then an object came through. It was metal, Irken metal, half of one ship, half of another. It landed with a quick bang where Zim was before Det tackled him out of the way. The craft had cracked upon impact, leaving a gaping hole in front. And out of the hole came a figure with wild, dark-blonde hair and icy blue eyes.

Bri slowly walked out of the crater the craft had made, slowly walked toward Det. The two stared at each other with calm intensity. Zim recalled Det's utter loathing for Bri, and almost wanted to back away (, but that wouldn't be very Invader-like.) Hobo and Tak simply stared at the baffling scene. Sizz-lorr snored.

For the first time in days, Bri showed expression; he smiled.

"Hey, Det." he asked the weary brawler.

Det's reply was the polar opposite of friendly sounding. "Bri."

Bri continued to smile. "Our truce still in effect?"

Det nodded.

"Enough talking!" Hobo yelled, battle arm ready, interrupting Det and Bri's tender reunion. Bri simply walked up to the sergeant, which surprised Hobo to no end.

"You want to kill Zim, right?" Bri asked. Hobo, still flustered by Bri's odd actions, merely nodded. "Good."

Bri walked to the middle of the plateau, every Irken staring at him. "Attention, everyone!" Bri called, which served no purpose, considering how they couldn't help but notice him.

"Alright, I know that most of you want to hurt Zim, or Det, or Skoodge, for some reason, but you can't. I need all three of them to keep my plan going. So, if you could all just-"

"What in Irk do we care about your plan at all?!?" Tak demanded.

Bri had lost his smile. "To make sure we all don't die."

"And you actually expect us to _listen to you_?" Now Tak smirked, claws once again raised.

"Not really, no. But I didn't lie; if you kill them, we all die. Anyway, no, I was just stalling."

Before any of the Irkens or Det could respond, the black hole above rippled. It didn't just make a weak little stone-drop ripple; it made waves. The black hole fluctuated and lurched and began to such in air at a rapid pace. Tak attempted to grip the plateau, but simply couldn't, and was sucked in. Sizz-lorr's conscious-less form went next, followed by a shaking Skoodge.

"MASTER! I NO LET YE GO!!!" Pez shrieked, rocketing toward an outwardly groaning Skoodge.

Hobo made a valiant effort in gripping the smooth rock, but inevitably was vacuumed up as well. Det took the time to notice that Hobo's hating eyes never left him.

Now, it was only the three. Zim felt himself begin to get sucked up as well, and grabbed onto Det's hood.

"NO! THAT BLACK HOLE WILL DESTROY MY ZIMMMY FORM FOR SURE! HELP ME!!!"

Det tried his absolute hardest not to push Zim into the vortex.

There came a whooshing, deafening noise apart from the black hole. Bri and Det both looked toward the edge of the plateau, where the giant Resisty mecha soared out from.

Dib's voice boomed yet again from the giant machine. "YOU CAN RUN, ZIM, BUT YOU CAN'T… BLACK HOLE?"

"YES! BLACK HOLE INDEED!" Lard Nar agreed, not really sure what Dib was saying. Then he noticed the black hole, and went back to his signature feedle pose.

The black hole increased in power again, this time sucking a screaming Zim and the giant mecha. They disappeared beyond the veil of the wormhole.

Det and Bri were all that was left. They stared at each other for a moment longer.

"I still hate you." Det said.

"I know." Bri said.

The plateau carrying the two cracked apart, hovered for a moment above the rocks below, and then was lifted entirely into the black hole. The hole gave a mighty ripple one more time, then shrunk out of existence.

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Professor Membrane burst through his front door of his house, making Gaz twitch a bit, then continue her game.

"Daughter!" the professor screamed. "Where is your brother?"

"Who cares?" she replied apathetically.

"Why, _I_ care!" Membrane said, picking Gaz up by the head. "If our insane little grade schooler isn't here, then our family is not complete! And if our family isn't complete, well, ha ha… _**THE WORLD AS WE KNOW IT MAY BE IMPLODED LIKE DECAYED, GRAFFITIED SKYSCRAPER**_!!!"

Gaz stared at her father, for this was weird even for him.

"Now, go find him!" Membrane ordered, tossing Gaz out the open door. She landed on her feet and didn't move.

"And no more pizza if you don't." Membrane threatened; she was gone before he finished the word 'pizza'.

"Ah, my poor, insane children." The professor closed the door.

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**END**


End file.
